Met up with a few BAS guys about 11p on Friday night. Brought out a female friend who promised to wing.
First set: Started the night talking to the bartender who I had met the previous night. Social proof. Also, at the first bar someone had put their foot through the window, so this was conversation material all night (got the story from the bouncer. Social proof x2). A girl with crutches sits next to me. Talk about how it must be tough to walk around a bar with those. Talk about feelings of going stir crazy, sitting at home. I ask her to dance (lol). It's my warmup set.
Sets Two through Six: We bounce to more of a club-type atmosphere. There's a girl at the front ordering a drink. I tease her a bit and ask her what she'd do if I got a drink first. She says punch me. I tease her for quite a bit and there's definite attraction there. I tell her about the bar in the back. She makes a move to go, but I hesitate so she stays. I bounce a couple minutes later and tell her I'll "do this" (cheesy smile) if I get my drink before her.
Bounce to bar in back where I know bartender. Get drink quickly. Probably talk to girls. One of my favorite bar openers is, "I'm not stealing your spot, just trying to get a drink." Then I open. I go to the bathroom after my drink and see the girl from above. I raise my drink and smile. She laughs.
Bounce outside. Opening sets like mad. Open a fourset of grenades. I hook into the group. I know I hook because I tell the stupidest joke in the world and the girl laughs. Here's the joke: "Why did the posh chicken cross the road? To get to the $10,000 of course!" Lol, it was that bad. I bounce out of the set and into another.
I ask these two girls for a light (they're talking to a guy). One girl says "no." I look at her incredulously. The other says, "I have one." Pulls it out of her cleavage. I give her shit. I give the other girl shit for being a bitch. Now I'm giving them both shit. I'm rocking back and forth and the guy who was talking to them bounces. I hook into the set and keep throwing in FTCs. The girl with the lighter says it's her b-day week. I don't believe her (I NEVER believe them). She pulls out her ID from her cleavage. MAN, do I give her shit for that. We talk about what else is hidden down there. Would've been a great time to start kino. Eventually the girls bounce. I give them a recommendation of the right bartender to get drinks from. When I see them later they are grateful. Turned a lost set (guy trying to pick them up, bitch shields WAY up), into a semi-success.
Sitting, I see a cute girl. I tell one of the BAS'ers to open her. He says, "not my type." I go in. It's a mixed set. I open with "You girls look so cool and like you're having so much fun, I just had to come over and talk to you." I'm in. While talking to them, come to find out the girl who I thought was really cute has a boyfriend (who tried to blow me out but whom I then befriended.). I talk to them for a bit about #occupywallstreet, then bounce because neither of the other options were that attractive. One interesting thing about this set is that I was kinoing one girl on the shoulder and she goes, "you keep touching me on the shoulder." I go, "yup."
Last set of the venue, one of my wings was in a threeset. I go in to wing. They're talking sign language. I know two things, "I hate you" and "I love you." I show one girl. I think she makes a smart-ass remark while I'm showing her, so I show her "I hate you first." It gets a laugh. We start talking about sign cusses. This gets into a convo about Italian cusses. I teach this one girl a few. They bounce but the girl I teach keeps bringing her friends to me. This one girl she brings gives me the DDB eyes. We talk and like an idiot, I do not escalate. She's ready to be kissed but I don't. We get to talking about her name and we make it a game like Rumplestilskin. I say, "If I get it right, you have to go home with me. If not," I don't remember what the if not was. She agrees and we are haggling over the rules of the game (she proposes three guesses, I say five. She says I've already taken two), when her friend comes and swoops her away. I don't number close because all we had was mere attraction. I should've fucking kissed her. We venue bounce.
Set Seven: Last set of the night was most successful. I open the first set I see of two hot, amazonian women and one dude. I get them laughing. They like me. The dude wings me to hook me up with one of the girls (I got the impression he was dating the other one). I keep going back to this set throughout the night and eventually the HB Amazon isolates herself for me and we go into rapport. I number close when I should have kiss closed. Must remember to kiss close more. For more in depth account of this set, check out the 100sets link to the right.
Takeaway: ESCALATE ESCALATE ESCALATE. Friend of mine recently returned from an RSD mini-boot. He says that they teach that you should k-close within the first twenty minutes. I should be constantly escalating so that I get to this point.
Showing posts with label confident. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confident. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
On being an alpha male
First thing I'd like to note is that the game is more than about just picking up women. Although a lot of us come to the game for that very same reason, there is so much more to it than that. What we, in the field, are teaching newbs and hopefully learning ourselves, is how to become true alpha males. We want to change our lifestyle. And much of the time, that is what is needed.
Now, I'd like to explain the term ALPHA. I don't necessarily mean it in the way you think I do. A lot of people think that being alpha means always being a leader, doing what you want, not taking shit from anyone. Sometimes that's true, but that is not exactly what I mean. What I mean by ALPHA is being a modern alpha male in our society. A lot of times, when you think of a mPUA, you are thinking of the modern alpha male. When you are thinking of a natural, you are thinking of a modern alpha male. When you internalize the game, when the switch "flips," when you realize you are a master, it is because you have become truly ALPHA. This post will try to define what that means and a little bit on how to get there.
A modern alpha male has a number of unique qualities. He is:
1. A Value-Giver
2. Confident
3. Fun to be Around
4. Leader of Men
5. Cool
I will now discuss each in turn, going into depth just a bit. Each of these categories could, and might be in the future, a post of their own. For now, it's just the basics.
1. Value-Giver - A value-giver is someone who builds others up. A value-giver is not supplicating, but nor is he condescending. A value-giver always looks someone in the eyes. A value-giver always listens. A value-giver will talk to you no matter who you are: and will smile while he does so, emoting when needed. A value-giver can give a compliment. A value giver rarely, if ever, destroys someone emotionally and does not insult someone with malice ("riffing" or "banter" is different and will be discussed later). A value-giver respects the opinions of others. He does not knock others down in order to talk to him. Rather, because he is alpha, he must bring others up to his level, so they can talk as equals. Most importantly, a value-giver is not an approval-seeker, he is an approval giver.
This topic can go on for some amount of time, and I am sure many of you have questions. Perhaps this will be a post of its own at some point.
2. Confidence - A modern alpha male is confident. He can be anywhere, yet he is completely comfortable with his surroundings. A modern alpha male has goals, and strives to attain those goals. He walks down the street with a chest full of air, head held high, chin down, shoulders back, with a steady, even gait. He walks a little bit faster then everyone else, never avoiding eye contact. If you see him on the street, you think, now THAT person has somewhere to go, someone to be.
A modern alpha male is completely comfortable wherever he is. He is never closed off. His body language is always open, always commanding, and always comfortable. He takes up a lot of space. He looks relaxed. He seems in control of himself and his surroundings.
A modern alpha male is determined. He knows what he wants and he gets it. He does not pussyfoot around. He goes for it. He is used to other people moving out of his way because his frame is stronger than theirs. He is unique, and he knows it. He is uniquely equipped to handle the pressures of life and he does not back down. He is happy with his job/life and it shows. People want to be close to him.
3. Be fun to be around: A modern alpha male has lots of friends. He smiles at everyone. He talks to everyone. He's a great conversationalist. People just seem to like him. They think he's a "great guy." They're not sure why, it's just something they can't put their finger on. If you see the modern alpha male at a club, you'll know its him because he'll be surrounded by beautiful women. They all just want to be closer to him. Everyone around him is laughing and having a good time. He makes friends easily because he genuinely likes people. He's a fun guy.
4. Leader of Men: A modern alpha male has many friends. He has so many friends because he is so much fun to be around. He is always finding new places to go, inviting friends to the hottest new clubs. When someone has something fun to do, they call the alpha male. They want to make sure he's going. They know the party follows him.
He leads by example. He would never tell someone to do something he hasn't tried. He wouldn't act a way that he doesn't want others to act. He is confident in his abilities and sees the best in others. He is the change he wants to see in the world.
5. He's Cool: Finally, a modern alpha male is unaffected by his surrounding circumstances. If something bad happens to him, it's not a big deal. He shrugs it off and moves on. This does not mean he is a pushover, merely that he realizes the things he cannot affect should not bother him. He has his goals in life and follows the path that brings him to those. Everything outside his power is just that, outside his power. Why should he fret?
The modern alpha male is not outcome-dependent. He asks a woman for her phone-number and she says, "I have a boyfriend." The modern alpha male does not care. He moves on, or says, "that's great." The modern alpha male is there for the adventure. Either you want to hang out with him, or you don't. It's his world and you're all just living in it.
**
I think I'll end each post with a challenge. maybe that can be this blog's thing. Today's challenge is to go out there and be confident. Watch your body language. Be aware of how you hold yourself. Make eye contact with other people. Don't cross your arms or legs, don't put your hands in your pockets, don't hide your hands. Imagine there is a string from the bottom of your spine all the way up through the crown of your head and that someone is pulling that string straight up. Breath deeply and confidently. You are the modern alpha male. Let it show.
Now, I'd like to explain the term ALPHA. I don't necessarily mean it in the way you think I do. A lot of people think that being alpha means always being a leader, doing what you want, not taking shit from anyone. Sometimes that's true, but that is not exactly what I mean. What I mean by ALPHA is being a modern alpha male in our society. A lot of times, when you think of a mPUA, you are thinking of the modern alpha male. When you are thinking of a natural, you are thinking of a modern alpha male. When you internalize the game, when the switch "flips," when you realize you are a master, it is because you have become truly ALPHA. This post will try to define what that means and a little bit on how to get there.
A modern alpha male has a number of unique qualities. He is:
1. A Value-Giver
2. Confident
3. Fun to be Around
4. Leader of Men
5. Cool
I will now discuss each in turn, going into depth just a bit. Each of these categories could, and might be in the future, a post of their own. For now, it's just the basics.
1. Value-Giver - A value-giver is someone who builds others up. A value-giver is not supplicating, but nor is he condescending. A value-giver always looks someone in the eyes. A value-giver always listens. A value-giver will talk to you no matter who you are: and will smile while he does so, emoting when needed. A value-giver can give a compliment. A value giver rarely, if ever, destroys someone emotionally and does not insult someone with malice ("riffing" or "banter" is different and will be discussed later). A value-giver respects the opinions of others. He does not knock others down in order to talk to him. Rather, because he is alpha, he must bring others up to his level, so they can talk as equals. Most importantly, a value-giver is not an approval-seeker, he is an approval giver.
This topic can go on for some amount of time, and I am sure many of you have questions. Perhaps this will be a post of its own at some point.
2. Confidence - A modern alpha male is confident. He can be anywhere, yet he is completely comfortable with his surroundings. A modern alpha male has goals, and strives to attain those goals. He walks down the street with a chest full of air, head held high, chin down, shoulders back, with a steady, even gait. He walks a little bit faster then everyone else, never avoiding eye contact. If you see him on the street, you think, now THAT person has somewhere to go, someone to be.
A modern alpha male is completely comfortable wherever he is. He is never closed off. His body language is always open, always commanding, and always comfortable. He takes up a lot of space. He looks relaxed. He seems in control of himself and his surroundings.
A modern alpha male is determined. He knows what he wants and he gets it. He does not pussyfoot around. He goes for it. He is used to other people moving out of his way because his frame is stronger than theirs. He is unique, and he knows it. He is uniquely equipped to handle the pressures of life and he does not back down. He is happy with his job/life and it shows. People want to be close to him.
3. Be fun to be around: A modern alpha male has lots of friends. He smiles at everyone. He talks to everyone. He's a great conversationalist. People just seem to like him. They think he's a "great guy." They're not sure why, it's just something they can't put their finger on. If you see the modern alpha male at a club, you'll know its him because he'll be surrounded by beautiful women. They all just want to be closer to him. Everyone around him is laughing and having a good time. He makes friends easily because he genuinely likes people. He's a fun guy.
4. Leader of Men: A modern alpha male has many friends. He has so many friends because he is so much fun to be around. He is always finding new places to go, inviting friends to the hottest new clubs. When someone has something fun to do, they call the alpha male. They want to make sure he's going. They know the party follows him.
He leads by example. He would never tell someone to do something he hasn't tried. He wouldn't act a way that he doesn't want others to act. He is confident in his abilities and sees the best in others. He is the change he wants to see in the world.
5. He's Cool: Finally, a modern alpha male is unaffected by his surrounding circumstances. If something bad happens to him, it's not a big deal. He shrugs it off and moves on. This does not mean he is a pushover, merely that he realizes the things he cannot affect should not bother him. He has his goals in life and follows the path that brings him to those. Everything outside his power is just that, outside his power. Why should he fret?
The modern alpha male is not outcome-dependent. He asks a woman for her phone-number and she says, "I have a boyfriend." The modern alpha male does not care. He moves on, or says, "that's great." The modern alpha male is there for the adventure. Either you want to hang out with him, or you don't. It's his world and you're all just living in it.
**
I think I'll end each post with a challenge. maybe that can be this blog's thing. Today's challenge is to go out there and be confident. Watch your body language. Be aware of how you hold yourself. Make eye contact with other people. Don't cross your arms or legs, don't put your hands in your pockets, don't hide your hands. Imagine there is a string from the bottom of your spine all the way up through the crown of your head and that someone is pulling that string straight up. Breath deeply and confidently. You are the modern alpha male. Let it show.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)