10/7/11 FR

Met up with a few BAS guys about 11p on Friday night.  Brought out a female friend who promised to wing.

First set:  Started the night talking to the bartender who I had met the previous night.  Social proof.  Also, at the first bar someone had put their foot through the window, so this was conversation material all night (got the story from the bouncer.  Social proof x2).  A girl with crutches sits next to me.  Talk about how it must be tough to walk around a bar with those.  Talk about feelings of going stir crazy, sitting at home.  I ask her to dance (lol).  It's my warmup set.

Sets Two through Six:  We bounce to more of a club-type atmosphere.  There's a girl at the front ordering a drink.  I tease her a bit and ask her what she'd do if I got a drink first.  She says punch me.  I tease her for quite a bit and there's definite attraction there.  I tell her about the bar in the back.  She makes a move to go, but I hesitate so she stays.  I bounce a couple minutes later and tell her I'll "do this" (cheesy smile) if I get my drink before her.

Bounce to bar in back where I know bartender.  Get drink quickly.  Probably talk to girls.  One of my favorite bar openers is, "I'm not stealing your spot, just trying to get a drink."  Then I open.  I go to the bathroom after my drink and see the girl from above.  I raise my drink and smile.  She laughs.

Bounce outside.  Opening sets like mad.  Open a fourset of grenades.  I hook into the group.  I know I hook because I tell the stupidest joke in the world and the girl laughs.  Here's the joke:  "Why did the posh chicken cross the road?  To get to the $10,000 of course!"  Lol, it was that bad.  I bounce out of the set and into another.

I ask these two girls for a light (they're talking to a guy).  One girl says "no."  I look at her incredulously.  The other says, "I have one."  Pulls it out of her cleavage.  I give her shit.  I give the other girl shit for being a bitch.  Now I'm giving them both shit.  I'm rocking back and forth and the guy who was talking to them bounces.  I hook into the set and keep throwing in FTCs.  The girl with the lighter says it's her b-day week.  I don't believe her (I NEVER believe them).  She pulls out her ID from her cleavage.  MAN, do I give her shit for that.  We talk about what else is hidden down there.  Would've been a great time to start kino.  Eventually the girls bounce.  I give them a recommendation of the right bartender to get drinks from.  When I see them later they are grateful.  Turned a lost set (guy trying to pick them up, bitch shields WAY up), into a semi-success.

Sitting, I see a cute girl.  I tell one of the BAS'ers to open her.  He says, "not my type."  I go in.  It's a mixed set.  I open with "You girls look so cool and like you're having so much fun, I just had to come over and talk to you."  I'm in.  While talking to them, come to find out the girl who I thought was really cute has a boyfriend (who tried to blow me out but whom I then befriended.).  I talk to them for a bit about #occupywallstreet, then bounce because neither of the other options were that attractive.  One interesting thing about this set is that I was kinoing one girl on the shoulder and she goes, "you keep touching me on the shoulder."  I go, "yup."

Last set of the venue, one of my wings was in a threeset.  I go in to wing.  They're talking sign language.  I know two things, "I hate you" and "I love you."  I show one girl.  I think she makes a smart-ass remark while I'm showing her, so I show her "I hate you first."  It gets a laugh.  We start talking about sign cusses.  This gets into a convo about Italian cusses.  I teach this one girl a few.  They bounce but the girl I teach keeps bringing her friends to me.  This one girl she brings gives me the DDB eyes.  We talk and like an idiot, I do not escalate.  She's ready to be kissed but I don't.  We get to talking about her name and we make it a game like Rumplestilskin.  I say, "If I get it right, you have to go home with me.  If not," I don't remember what the if not was.  She agrees and we are haggling over the rules of the game (she proposes three guesses, I say five.  She says I've already taken two), when her friend comes and swoops her away.  I don't number close because all we had was mere attraction.  I should've fucking kissed her.  We venue bounce.

Set Seven: Last set of the night was most successful.  I open the first set I see of two hot, amazonian women and one dude.  I get them laughing.  They like me.  The dude wings me to hook me up with one of the girls (I got the impression he was dating the other one).  I keep going back to this set throughout the night and eventually the HB Amazon isolates herself for me and we go into rapport.  I number close when I should have kiss closed.  Must remember to kiss close more.  For more in depth account of this set, check out the 100sets link to the right.

Takeaway:  ESCALATE ESCALATE ESCALATE.  Friend of mine recently returned from an RSD mini-boot.  He says that they teach that you should k-close within the first twenty minutes.  I should be constantly escalating so that I get to this point.

9/23/11 FR

Have not been going out as much because I've been focusing on other things.  However, I did go out last Friday and I'll post a short FR here.

Started as most Fridays have, with me heading to drinks with coworkers.  We've been hitting the same bar consistently, so I've developed some good relationships there with the regulars and the staff.  I cannot stress enough how important social game is to your overall game.  Remember that getting better with women is just a by-product of you becoming a better person overall.

So, we're at the bar and having some drinks.  I'm in a suit from a hearing earlier in the day.  I feel uncomfortable at first, but just own it and become comfortable.  I'm talking to people and enjoying myself.  At some point, it's time to go, so I head over to my "home bar."  I'm still in my suit, but make the best of it and open some sets.  After one drink, it's time to go home and get changed.  I'm meeting some friends at midnight, so I go home, get changed and head back to the bar.  When I reopen sets, they notice I've changed, but I play it off as funny.  One set in particular I hook real well.  It's a mixed set so I say, "You guys are fun, I'm hanging out with you tonight."  I keep going back to them and they are really receptive.  None of the girls are 9s or 10s (hey, it's San Jose), but I have fun anyway.

Eventually, midnight rolls around and I've got to go meet my friends, so I say my goodbyes and head out.  I was completely outcome independent tonight and my sets benefited from it.  I went out just thinking that I'd have a good time, and I did.  The sets I talked to were fun and receptive.

The rest of the week, I've been working on inner game.  I'm trying to become a better value-giver, as well as non-reactive.  I want people to want to be around me.  I want to be able to look at a girl and build attraction without saying a word.  I think it's been going well because I've been having some positive experiences during the week.  For instance, I was out Tuesday and had some really good interaction with a couple of hired guns. Great eye contact and smiles, to the exclusion of others.

Every once in a while it's nice to step back and work on your inner game.  Tonight we go out with the San Jose crew.

Be a Better Man

It's easy to forget, with all the sarging, that the point of the Pick-up community is to make better men.  We all got into this because we were dissatisfied with our lives.  Sure, we may have been all stars on the X-Box, or A students, or athletes.  But the fact remains that something was missing.  That is why we've sought this community out.

Believe it or not, what was missing from our lives was not a lack of women.  The lack of women was merely a symptom of the overall problem: dissatisfaction with our lives.  There are some things to remember about pick-up that have nothing to do with picking up women.  Yet these basic principles will make us inherently better with women.  They are:

- to be outcome independent.  This does not mean don't have goals.  Goals are very important too.  It simply means that we must be satisfied with our lives as they are (and if not, then to change our lives).  It means that we are self-entertained.  It means that we will do what we are doing anyway because we want to.

- to be value-givers.  Pick-up is about connecting to people.  If you are only talking to women, then you are doing it wrong.  Pick-up is talking to everyone.  Pick-up is brightening everyone's days.  You should be just as charming to the bum on the street as you are to that HB9.

- to set goals for ourselves.  Yes, we are to have goals, even though we are outcome independent.  Trust in the system, just do not have an ulterior motive.

- to be self-content.  The end-game of any pick-up artist is to be content with who we are.  Like I said above, we come to this community because of a dissatisfaction with out lives.  It should be our goal to be completely satisfied with our lives.

- finally, have fun.  It's easy to forget this one.  Sarging is hard.  Talking to strangers is hard.  If you aren't having fun, you're not going to last.  So go out there and have fun.

Hope this helps for you guys.  Remember to set your goals and to have fun.  We are doing this to become better people.

8/30/11 Journal

8/30 was a Tuesday night and I went out with Viper from Seddit.  I met him at the Firehouse in downtown San Jose.  He was talking on the phone, so while I was waiting for him I opened a mixed fourset.  They hooked well and I bummed a cigarette from one of them.  They invited us inside to hang with them.

After Vipe got off the phone, we went inside and got ourselves a drink.  Talked to the bartender for a bit, and to the pilot at the bar drinking by himself.  Eventually we decided to hit Farenheit bar.  So off we went, in my car.  Got to Farenheit and it was pretty dead.  Flirt with the pretty bartender and get our drinks.  I see a two set at a table and tell Viper to go open them.  He's AA.  I say, "if you don't, I will."  He goes, "what, right now?"  I say, "yup."  So he goes to open them.  He opens the mail of the group first, and is stuck talking to him when I get over there.  I go straight to the two ladies who are deep in a conversation.  I open with something like, "what are you guys celebrating," or, "is it always so dead in here?"  I don't remember what.  Anyway, we fall into insta-rapport.  They stop what they were saying and both start talking to me.  Viper is lurking to my right the entire time, so eventually I eject.

We go to Tres next because it's two dollar Tuesday.  Vipe is buying me drinks.  We open a two-set at the bar.  I think it goes nowhere.  I'm probably a little drunk at this point.  Full disclosure: before meeting up with ViperV I drank a pitcher with my boss.  As in, one pitcher just for me.  And a pint.  Plus the drink at Firehouse and one at Farenheit.  So yeah, I was probably drunk.  First thing we do is hit the bathroom.  I tip the guy.  Then we get a drink and open the set at the bar.  Again, I am carrying the conversational weight and get bored.  We move outside.  Start talking to a lesbian couple.  It's someone's birthday.  Talking to everyone.  A two-set appears and I steal a smoke.  Open them.  We're in set.  The lesbians return.  Open them too.  We are now a six set.  Start talking to guys at a table.  They leave at one point and give me a full drink.  SCORE!  So here we are, in the middle of a big set, the lives of the party.  Eventually, ViperV has to go so I drive him back to his car.

After I drop him off I go back out to the bars.  This was probably a mistake, but GD, I had fun.