Some [FRs] from the weekend

Was sick and bogged down at work, so didn't go out much last week.  However, I did go out Friday and Saturday.  Here are those FRs.

Friday - Went out with coworkers beforehand.  There was a hot twoset behind us.  I noticed them walking in, then ignored them to talk to my coworkers and build up social proof.  They were both sitting facing the door and I was sitting with my back towards them.  At one point I turned around and said something along the lines of, "can you two please keep it down back there, we're trying to talk!"  Of course I said it with a big, shit-eating grin and they loved it, hooking right away.  I talked for them a bit before turning my attention back to my group.  I later opened them again.  I was giving one of the girls (Russian) some kino, but she was not digging it.  The other one was into me, but I didn't make my move because I am uncomfortable sarging in the spotlight of coworkers.  I would have invited them to sit with us, but logistics were awful.

When everyone was calling it a night at 8:00, I decided to go and hit up a local bar.  I went in and ordered a few drinks and tried to flirt with the bartender a little.  Sent out a coupla pings to friends.  One hit, so we went next door to another place I know (Fred's).  Hung around, but not much was going on.  My friend wanted to go to a dive bar, so we bounced there.  Inside it was crowded.  I went to the bathroom and on the way so a girl I number closed before Thanksgiving.  Talked with her, showed her the pictures I had on my phone of us, and told her I would call her later.  My friend and I bounced, and that was that.  Talked to a couple of other girls here and there, but nothing noteworthy.

Saturday - Friend (girl)'s birthday party.  Meet up her house about nine and start drinking.  They are doing shots and eventually get wasted.  We hang out there for a bit then head out to a club.  The place is CRACKIN with HB 9s and 8s all over the place.  I am still uncomfortable approaching when the hot girl-rate is so high.  At one point I am in the patio-area smoking.  I notice that where I am standing there is a bunch of guys and on the other side of the space there are a bunch of girls.  It's like a high school dance.  While I am thinking, a cutie comes up to me and asks for a cigarette.  I give her a look, but she stays.  I tell her that I might give her a butt if she did something cool/funny.  She's like, "what?"  I say, "what are you good at?"  She thinks about it, but says, "nothing."  Then her eyes light up and she says, "oooh.  I know!"  She then bends her thumbs backwards and says, "see?"  I'm like, "wtf?!"  I kino her a bit and of course make fun of her a little.  I give her a cigarette and light it.  She calls me a gentleman.  We talk for a little big longer before she bounces.

After this interaction I'm thinking, "wtf am I doing?"  I walk across the space to two gals who look as though they are waiting to be opened.  I move in and say, "it's like a high school dance in here with girls on one side and guys on the other."  They laugh and are opened.  We talk a bit, with me giving them shit and them complimenting me ("You don't look like a smoker.  You have a good complexion and look clean").  I bounce inside to look for my way-too drunk friend to make sure she's not getting me into trouble.

Two things about two of the girls in the group I'm with.  One is the birthday girl and is constantly trying to get into my pants, but I LJBF'd her.  She is way too drunk tonight.  Another is a cute girl who only likes buff black guys.  I am not a buff black guy, but I get the feeling that she has a thing for me, so I flirt with her.  She buys me a drink at one point in the night with very little prompting.  Later in the night, she is probably too drunk and clinging all over me, holding my hand, all the signs.  I try to kiss her but get the cheek twice.  Being unreactive I just don't give a fuck, but it was fun.

Later, I go back outside to the dance floor and reopen the twoset from earlier.  I do some grinding with them and cop a feel or two off of them.  My interest level isn't high as they are both 40-somethings, but they've got great bodies and one is French while the other is Brazilian.  I attempt to number close the French gal (even though the Brazilian would've been easier to close) and get the "I'll take yours."  So I put it in and press "send."  I then hand her phone back and go to take out mine.  She ends the call before I get to my phone and says, "I'll call you."  Welp, I've got to look for my friends and don't have time to fuck with her, so I peace.

At one point a wing from seddit shows up.  I get separated from my other friends, so we bounce to another bar (Fred's again).  The place is packed and there are two separate lines, both about 20 people deep.  We walk past the front, see that it's hopeless (getting close to bar time) and darkenergizerbunny says, "why don't we just walk in?"  "Sure," I say.  "We've got to just walk right up like we own the place."  So I go to the front.  I see a bouncer we know, walk right up to him and say, "we were outside smoking."  He says, "hey man."  We are on the other side of the velvet rope and there are two lines on either side of us.  He's letting a group of girls in.  One says something about showing her tits, so I vibe with the bouncer about that a bit.  When he turns to face me again, I make a move to go in and he opens the velvet rope.  I point to my wing and say, "this guy's with me."  We go in.  Place is packed.  I make a bee-line for the back bar.

Now, I can't say exactly what happened, other than to say that I always open a set at the bar, if available.  This time is no different.  I find an empty space at the bar (probably talking to girls on my way in) and say something to a cutie next to me.  She is  very receptive, so we start to talking.  I'm not even sure about what, but I one point I remember a line I read on seddit that I want to give a try.  I say, "Listen, I'm not gay and I don't have a girlfriend or anything, I just suck at flirting and I think you are cute.  Thought I'd throw that out there."  We then go back to talking.  I can tell in her face when I tell her that she's intrigued and it works.  RIGHT ON!  Wish I could remember who I got the line from.  I end up hanging out with this girl for the rest of the night.  Her friend (cousin) kind of hates me and seems to be trying to get rid of me, but this girl is dragging me around by holding my hand.  At some point the lights come on and we are getting separated in the crowd.  I take out my phone, put it onto a new contact page and put it in her hand.  I then lose her in the crowd.  I've never been so worried.  I thought I might never see my phone again.

I walk outside with my wing.  She's right there greeting me as I walk out the door and hands me my phone.  "If you can remember my name, call me."

Later that night I text two girls (no idea what her name was).  Hers was the first response (the other girl texted, "who the fuck are you?"  lol).

Sets is not just girls

When I write about opening "sets," what I mean is talking to people.  I say, "talk to everyone" a lot, but people rarely know what I mean.  I literally mean "talk to everyone."

You're not going to get better at this if you don't like talking to people.  When I go out with guys, they are so intent at talking to girls that they totally forget about their social game.  What sets us apart from every other AFC trying to hit on girls is that we're talking to everyone: the life of the party.  We're talking to the doorman going into the club, and flirting with the bartender.  We're asking the guy in the bathroom how his night is going and leaving him a tip.  We're talking to the person next to us at the bar ("Hey.  Is this bartender taking forever?").  We talk to the group of old ladies, and the hotties who just walked in.  This is game.

Here's an example.  At a concert the other night, I was talking to this guy.  He seemed like just a normal guy, trying to enjoy the show.  He was eyeballing every girl that passed.  Eventually, a cute blonde chick comes up to me and asks me for a cigarette.  Now I never let that go.  I give her shit.  I'm ALWAYS giving girls shit (it's part of the persona.  1 - it shows you're cool to be around, 2 - you can't give a fuck.  You're talking to so many girls, you mine as well make it fun).  This girl's digging it.  She starts qualifying herself HARD.  At one point her friend comes over, but I ISO the chick and eventually her friend leaves.  I was a little tipsy and nothing came out of it.  After she leaves, I tell the guy to my left, "Well, that's about all I had in me tonight."  He goes, "HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!"

It's no secret.  Talk to everyone.  Be the life of the party.  Let your confidence show and be prepared for when girls open you.  I am still learning how to handle girls opening me.  It's relatively new to me, but I'm pretty sure I'll get there.

Keep at it, playas.

9/23/11 FR

Have not been going out as much because I've been focusing on other things.  However, I did go out last Friday and I'll post a short FR here.

Started as most Fridays have, with me heading to drinks with coworkers.  We've been hitting the same bar consistently, so I've developed some good relationships there with the regulars and the staff.  I cannot stress enough how important social game is to your overall game.  Remember that getting better with women is just a by-product of you becoming a better person overall.

So, we're at the bar and having some drinks.  I'm in a suit from a hearing earlier in the day.  I feel uncomfortable at first, but just own it and become comfortable.  I'm talking to people and enjoying myself.  At some point, it's time to go, so I head over to my "home bar."  I'm still in my suit, but make the best of it and open some sets.  After one drink, it's time to go home and get changed.  I'm meeting some friends at midnight, so I go home, get changed and head back to the bar.  When I reopen sets, they notice I've changed, but I play it off as funny.  One set in particular I hook real well.  It's a mixed set so I say, "You guys are fun, I'm hanging out with you tonight."  I keep going back to them and they are really receptive.  None of the girls are 9s or 10s (hey, it's San Jose), but I have fun anyway.

Eventually, midnight rolls around and I've got to go meet my friends, so I say my goodbyes and head out.  I was completely outcome independent tonight and my sets benefited from it.  I went out just thinking that I'd have a good time, and I did.  The sets I talked to were fun and receptive.

The rest of the week, I've been working on inner game.  I'm trying to become a better value-giver, as well as non-reactive.  I want people to want to be around me.  I want to be able to look at a girl and build attraction without saying a word.  I think it's been going well because I've been having some positive experiences during the week.  For instance, I was out Tuesday and had some really good interaction with a couple of hired guns. Great eye contact and smiles, to the exclusion of others.

Every once in a while it's nice to step back and work on your inner game.  Tonight we go out with the San Jose crew.

8/30/11 Journal

8/30 was a Tuesday night and I went out with Viper from Seddit.  I met him at the Firehouse in downtown San Jose.  He was talking on the phone, so while I was waiting for him I opened a mixed fourset.  They hooked well and I bummed a cigarette from one of them.  They invited us inside to hang with them.

After Vipe got off the phone, we went inside and got ourselves a drink.  Talked to the bartender for a bit, and to the pilot at the bar drinking by himself.  Eventually we decided to hit Farenheit bar.  So off we went, in my car.  Got to Farenheit and it was pretty dead.  Flirt with the pretty bartender and get our drinks.  I see a two set at a table and tell Viper to go open them.  He's AA.  I say, "if you don't, I will."  He goes, "what, right now?"  I say, "yup."  So he goes to open them.  He opens the mail of the group first, and is stuck talking to him when I get over there.  I go straight to the two ladies who are deep in a conversation.  I open with something like, "what are you guys celebrating," or, "is it always so dead in here?"  I don't remember what.  Anyway, we fall into insta-rapport.  They stop what they were saying and both start talking to me.  Viper is lurking to my right the entire time, so eventually I eject.

We go to Tres next because it's two dollar Tuesday.  Vipe is buying me drinks.  We open a two-set at the bar.  I think it goes nowhere.  I'm probably a little drunk at this point.  Full disclosure: before meeting up with ViperV I drank a pitcher with my boss.  As in, one pitcher just for me.  And a pint.  Plus the drink at Firehouse and one at Farenheit.  So yeah, I was probably drunk.  First thing we do is hit the bathroom.  I tip the guy.  Then we get a drink and open the set at the bar.  Again, I am carrying the conversational weight and get bored.  We move outside.  Start talking to a lesbian couple.  It's someone's birthday.  Talking to everyone.  A two-set appears and I steal a smoke.  Open them.  We're in set.  The lesbians return.  Open them too.  We are now a six set.  Start talking to guys at a table.  They leave at one point and give me a full drink.  SCORE!  So here we are, in the middle of a big set, the lives of the party.  Eventually, ViperV has to go so I drive him back to his car.

After I drop him off I go back out to the bars.  This was probably a mistake, but GD, I had fun.