Been going out fairly consistently lately. In fact, these past few months I've been going out so much that my bank account is just about nil. I am going to begin saving more, and reel back how much I go out during the week. I am also cutting back on drinking as I found I have better interactions with people when I do so.
Sat and Sunday were spent with new girl. I am having so much fun with this girl, that I don't even care if my numbers are falling. It's good to date someone with whom I have built a genuine connection and with whom I actually like, not just find attractive. I was listening to an interview with Richard La Ruina, a trainer from UK. He talks about upping the quality of girls rather than the quantity and how he qualifies the women he talks to before picking them up. For instance, he'll go for the makeout fairly quickly. If she makes out, he realizes it is not the girl for him. I like this form of pickup much more than the ONS version. To me, it is more important to make deep, emotional connections with a woman than to go for the quick and easy lay. IMO it makes the sex better, but all guys are different.
OK, I am getting a little off topic here. Honesty. I wanted to talk about honesty. The importance of honesty. And this all goes back to what I was talking about above with qualifying girls to find quality women. A lot of new players go out into the field with all of these tricks and games they've acquired from reading the materials. However, the most important thing a player can do is accept himself for who he is and be completely honest with the girl he is talking to. If you begin a relationship with lies, it will never go anywhere meaningful. It is essentially a house built on a foundation of straw.
So how do we develop honesty? First we have to be honest with ourselves. We have to decide what our goals are in life and what we are looking to get out of pickup. For me, what I want out of pickup is to find a quality woman. I will talk about quality in another post and how it changes for every man and how one man's quality woman is another man's ONS, but that is my goal. It is nice to have a harem, it is nice to flirt with girls, I still love the pickup. But that is my goal: to find quality women. Also, the more I go out and practice, the better I get at picking up women so that when I do find quality women, I don't blow it in the first ten minutes.
Being honest with yourself also means following your goals and seeing them through to the end. If that means going to the gym every day, do it. If it means talking to strangers, do it. Do you want to get better at your job? Start working on it now! When we are honest with ourselves, we have to listen to ourselves and strive to achieve our goals. Otherwise we are not being completely honest.
To become honest with yourself, you must be confident in your decisions. That is why following your goals is so important. If a girl asks you what you do and you don't like your job, she is going to smell that right away. Do you think that's attractive? It's not. If a girl asks you what you do in your free time and your only honest answer is "play video games," are you happy with that choice? If you are, then she has no other option but to accept you. If you are not happy with your choice, she will sniff it out within minutes and think "what a dork," etc. This will be repeated again and again: It does not matter what you say. As long as you are honest, confident and congruent, you can get away with anything.
Once we are honest with ourselves, we can be honest with others. Here's a big secret. Do you know what the best way to get a woman to completely open up to you is? The best way to get a woman to share something with you she hasn't told anyone else? It is to offer that information first. If you tell a woman something that ten years ago you would not have told anyone, and you say it with confidence, she won't judge you. Read that again fellas. She will not judge you. In fact, she will be impressed that you had the cajones to say anything like that.
Here's an example. I once told a woman about the most scandalous thing I've ever done: almost slept with a married woman while my girlfriend was asleep elsewhere. I said it with complete honesty and a complete lack of shame. You know what she did? Listen. Later she told me about the most scandalous thing she had ever done. Guys, when you share stuff like that with a woman, and she stares that stuff with you, you develop a bond. She invests in you. These are the types of relationships you should strive for.
A quick aside: This is powerful NLP-like shit. Don't do this for your one night lays unless you make it clear upfront what you are looking for. Women who have been around the block will be guarded, but younger girls will not and might get their heart broke after "opening up to you" only to never hear from you again. That's also how to get psycho girls after you. Be careful.
Honesty should permeate everything you do. When I talk to a girl, I like to find out what she expects out of a relationship. Best way to do that is to ask her: What do you look for in the men you date? What kind of relationships do you have? What kind of relationships do you want? What's your ideal man like? You will only get the true and real answers from her if you are honest with her in return. For instance, she may balk when you ask that question. You need simply say, "for instance, I am looking for a woman with whom I can grow as a person and help her to grow. I am looking for a partner where we will never hold each other back and only push each other forward. I want us both to reach our goals, then look back on our achievements and hold hands while sipping lemonade on a porch." Again, you will get her investing in you.
When you share yourself with a woman, when you allow her to peer into your soul, you are giving her a gift. You are giving her the gift of you. You are also allowing a woman to share herself with you. How many guys does a woman meet at a bar allow her to talk about her deepest, darkest fantasies. How many guys do you think she has actually told her deepest, darkest fantasies to? As Erik Von Markovik once said, PUAs are the exception. We do not do what everyone else does and so are successful.
One more thing about this. This is also why role-play is so important. Not only is it fun (and girls FUCKING LOVE FUN. OK, tangent. Seriously, girls fucking love fun. Girls don't want a dour guy like Don Draper. OK, they do. But when it comes time to actually go out on a date? They want Russel Fucking Brand. They want danger. They want excitement. They want to laugh. Playing aloof only gets you so far. Remember the words of Cyndi Lauper: Girls just want to have fun), but it allows you to share your fantasies with a girl and allows her to share hers with you. Example: "Let's get married. We'll fly to Aruba and have the ceremony on the beach. We can only invite three people though. Who are you bringing?" Or, "I know this is sudden, but we need to move in together RIGHT NOW. Should we take your apartment or mine?" Etc, etc. Use your fucking imagination.
When you are honest -- honest with yourself, honest with your intentions, honest with the world -- you are congruent. It is hard to explaining congruency, but it is essentially the state of complete honesty with who you are in that moment in time and the honesty you have about what you are doing right then. For instance, if you are happy, you smile. If you don't find something funny, you don't laugh. If you feel like kissing a girl, you kiss her. Honesty.
Finally, be honest in your openers. Guys, PLEASE, be honest with your openers. You have GOT to be congruent when you go and talk to a women or else you are DOA. You can't go up and ask if they've seen the fight outside. Not only have they heard it before, but it's dumb and not congruent with who you are. Try, "you are so cute, so I had to come talk to you," or, "you girls look like fun, I'm [name]" or even "Hi. Whatcha got there?" It really doesn't matter what you say. Just be honest with yourself, the situation, and her. It'll work itself out.
That's it guys. Have fun out there.
Showing posts with label confidence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confidence. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Some [FRs] from the weekend
Was sick and bogged down at work, so didn't go out much last week. However, I did go out Friday and Saturday. Here are those FRs.
Friday - Went out with coworkers beforehand. There was a hot twoset behind us. I noticed them walking in, then ignored them to talk to my coworkers and build up social proof. They were both sitting facing the door and I was sitting with my back towards them. At one point I turned around and said something along the lines of, "can you two please keep it down back there, we're trying to talk!" Of course I said it with a big, shit-eating grin and they loved it, hooking right away. I talked for them a bit before turning my attention back to my group. I later opened them again. I was giving one of the girls (Russian) some kino, but she was not digging it. The other one was into me, but I didn't make my move because I am uncomfortable sarging in the spotlight of coworkers. I would have invited them to sit with us, but logistics were awful.
When everyone was calling it a night at 8:00, I decided to go and hit up a local bar. I went in and ordered a few drinks and tried to flirt with the bartender a little. Sent out a coupla pings to friends. One hit, so we went next door to another place I know (Fred's). Hung around, but not much was going on. My friend wanted to go to a dive bar, so we bounced there. Inside it was crowded. I went to the bathroom and on the way so a girl I number closed before Thanksgiving. Talked with her, showed her the pictures I had on my phone of us, and told her I would call her later. My friend and I bounced, and that was that. Talked to a couple of other girls here and there, but nothing noteworthy.
Saturday - Friend (girl)'s birthday party. Meet up her house about nine and start drinking. They are doing shots and eventually get wasted. We hang out there for a bit then head out to a club. The place is CRACKIN with HB 9s and 8s all over the place. I am still uncomfortable approaching when the hot girl-rate is so high. At one point I am in the patio-area smoking. I notice that where I am standing there is a bunch of guys and on the other side of the space there are a bunch of girls. It's like a high school dance. While I am thinking, a cutie comes up to me and asks for a cigarette. I give her a look, but she stays. I tell her that I might give her a butt if she did something cool/funny. She's like, "what?" I say, "what are you good at?" She thinks about it, but says, "nothing." Then her eyes light up and she says, "oooh. I know!" She then bends her thumbs backwards and says, "see?" I'm like, "wtf?!" I kino her a bit and of course make fun of her a little. I give her a cigarette and light it. She calls me a gentleman. We talk for a little big longer before she bounces.
After this interaction I'm thinking, "wtf am I doing?" I walk across the space to two gals who look as though they are waiting to be opened. I move in and say, "it's like a high school dance in here with girls on one side and guys on the other." They laugh and are opened. We talk a bit, with me giving them shit and them complimenting me ("You don't look like a smoker. You have a good complexion and look clean"). I bounce inside to look for my way-too drunk friend to make sure she's not getting me into trouble.
Two things about two of the girls in the group I'm with. One is the birthday girl and is constantly trying to get into my pants, but I LJBF'd her. She is way too drunk tonight. Another is a cute girl who only likes buff black guys. I am not a buff black guy, but I get the feeling that she has a thing for me, so I flirt with her. She buys me a drink at one point in the night with very little prompting. Later in the night, she is probably too drunk and clinging all over me, holding my hand, all the signs. I try to kiss her but get the cheek twice. Being unreactive I just don't give a fuck, but it was fun.
Later, I go back outside to the dance floor and reopen the twoset from earlier. I do some grinding with them and cop a feel or two off of them. My interest level isn't high as they are both 40-somethings, but they've got great bodies and one is French while the other is Brazilian. I attempt to number close the French gal (even though the Brazilian would've been easier to close) and get the "I'll take yours." So I put it in and press "send." I then hand her phone back and go to take out mine. She ends the call before I get to my phone and says, "I'll call you." Welp, I've got to look for my friends and don't have time to fuck with her, so I peace.
At one point a wing from seddit shows up. I get separated from my other friends, so we bounce to another bar (Fred's again). The place is packed and there are two separate lines, both about 20 people deep. We walk past the front, see that it's hopeless (getting close to bar time) and darkenergizerbunny says, "why don't we just walk in?" "Sure," I say. "We've got to just walk right up like we own the place." So I go to the front. I see a bouncer we know, walk right up to him and say, "we were outside smoking." He says, "hey man." We are on the other side of the velvet rope and there are two lines on either side of us. He's letting a group of girls in. One says something about showing her tits, so I vibe with the bouncer about that a bit. When he turns to face me again, I make a move to go in and he opens the velvet rope. I point to my wing and say, "this guy's with me." We go in. Place is packed. I make a bee-line for the back bar.
Now, I can't say exactly what happened, other than to say that I always open a set at the bar, if available. This time is no different. I find an empty space at the bar (probably talking to girls on my way in) and say something to a cutie next to me. She is very receptive, so we start to talking. I'm not even sure about what, but I one point I remember a line I read on seddit that I want to give a try. I say, "Listen, I'm not gay and I don't have a girlfriend or anything, I just suck at flirting and I think you are cute. Thought I'd throw that out there." We then go back to talking. I can tell in her face when I tell her that she's intrigued and it works. RIGHT ON! Wish I could remember who I got the line from. I end up hanging out with this girl for the rest of the night. Her friend (cousin) kind of hates me and seems to be trying to get rid of me, but this girl is dragging me around by holding my hand. At some point the lights come on and we are getting separated in the crowd. I take out my phone, put it onto a new contact page and put it in her hand. I then lose her in the crowd. I've never been so worried. I thought I might never see my phone again.
I walk outside with my wing. She's right there greeting me as I walk out the door and hands me my phone. "If you can remember my name, call me."
Later that night I text two girls (no idea what her name was). Hers was the first response (the other girl texted, "who the fuck are you?" lol).
Friday - Went out with coworkers beforehand. There was a hot twoset behind us. I noticed them walking in, then ignored them to talk to my coworkers and build up social proof. They were both sitting facing the door and I was sitting with my back towards them. At one point I turned around and said something along the lines of, "can you two please keep it down back there, we're trying to talk!" Of course I said it with a big, shit-eating grin and they loved it, hooking right away. I talked for them a bit before turning my attention back to my group. I later opened them again. I was giving one of the girls (Russian) some kino, but she was not digging it. The other one was into me, but I didn't make my move because I am uncomfortable sarging in the spotlight of coworkers. I would have invited them to sit with us, but logistics were awful.
When everyone was calling it a night at 8:00, I decided to go and hit up a local bar. I went in and ordered a few drinks and tried to flirt with the bartender a little. Sent out a coupla pings to friends. One hit, so we went next door to another place I know (Fred's). Hung around, but not much was going on. My friend wanted to go to a dive bar, so we bounced there. Inside it was crowded. I went to the bathroom and on the way so a girl I number closed before Thanksgiving. Talked with her, showed her the pictures I had on my phone of us, and told her I would call her later. My friend and I bounced, and that was that. Talked to a couple of other girls here and there, but nothing noteworthy.
Saturday - Friend (girl)'s birthday party. Meet up her house about nine and start drinking. They are doing shots and eventually get wasted. We hang out there for a bit then head out to a club. The place is CRACKIN with HB 9s and 8s all over the place. I am still uncomfortable approaching when the hot girl-rate is so high. At one point I am in the patio-area smoking. I notice that where I am standing there is a bunch of guys and on the other side of the space there are a bunch of girls. It's like a high school dance. While I am thinking, a cutie comes up to me and asks for a cigarette. I give her a look, but she stays. I tell her that I might give her a butt if she did something cool/funny. She's like, "what?" I say, "what are you good at?" She thinks about it, but says, "nothing." Then her eyes light up and she says, "oooh. I know!" She then bends her thumbs backwards and says, "see?" I'm like, "wtf?!" I kino her a bit and of course make fun of her a little. I give her a cigarette and light it. She calls me a gentleman. We talk for a little big longer before she bounces.
After this interaction I'm thinking, "wtf am I doing?" I walk across the space to two gals who look as though they are waiting to be opened. I move in and say, "it's like a high school dance in here with girls on one side and guys on the other." They laugh and are opened. We talk a bit, with me giving them shit and them complimenting me ("You don't look like a smoker. You have a good complexion and look clean"). I bounce inside to look for my way-too drunk friend to make sure she's not getting me into trouble.
Two things about two of the girls in the group I'm with. One is the birthday girl and is constantly trying to get into my pants, but I LJBF'd her. She is way too drunk tonight. Another is a cute girl who only likes buff black guys. I am not a buff black guy, but I get the feeling that she has a thing for me, so I flirt with her. She buys me a drink at one point in the night with very little prompting. Later in the night, she is probably too drunk and clinging all over me, holding my hand, all the signs. I try to kiss her but get the cheek twice. Being unreactive I just don't give a fuck, but it was fun.
Later, I go back outside to the dance floor and reopen the twoset from earlier. I do some grinding with them and cop a feel or two off of them. My interest level isn't high as they are both 40-somethings, but they've got great bodies and one is French while the other is Brazilian. I attempt to number close the French gal (even though the Brazilian would've been easier to close) and get the "I'll take yours." So I put it in and press "send." I then hand her phone back and go to take out mine. She ends the call before I get to my phone and says, "I'll call you." Welp, I've got to look for my friends and don't have time to fuck with her, so I peace.
At one point a wing from seddit shows up. I get separated from my other friends, so we bounce to another bar (Fred's again). The place is packed and there are two separate lines, both about 20 people deep. We walk past the front, see that it's hopeless (getting close to bar time) and darkenergizerbunny says, "why don't we just walk in?" "Sure," I say. "We've got to just walk right up like we own the place." So I go to the front. I see a bouncer we know, walk right up to him and say, "we were outside smoking." He says, "hey man." We are on the other side of the velvet rope and there are two lines on either side of us. He's letting a group of girls in. One says something about showing her tits, so I vibe with the bouncer about that a bit. When he turns to face me again, I make a move to go in and he opens the velvet rope. I point to my wing and say, "this guy's with me." We go in. Place is packed. I make a bee-line for the back bar.
Now, I can't say exactly what happened, other than to say that I always open a set at the bar, if available. This time is no different. I find an empty space at the bar (probably talking to girls on my way in) and say something to a cutie next to me. She is very receptive, so we start to talking. I'm not even sure about what, but I one point I remember a line I read on seddit that I want to give a try. I say, "Listen, I'm not gay and I don't have a girlfriend or anything, I just suck at flirting and I think you are cute. Thought I'd throw that out there." We then go back to talking. I can tell in her face when I tell her that she's intrigued and it works. RIGHT ON! Wish I could remember who I got the line from. I end up hanging out with this girl for the rest of the night. Her friend (cousin) kind of hates me and seems to be trying to get rid of me, but this girl is dragging me around by holding my hand. At some point the lights come on and we are getting separated in the crowd. I take out my phone, put it onto a new contact page and put it in her hand. I then lose her in the crowd. I've never been so worried. I thought I might never see my phone again.
I walk outside with my wing. She's right there greeting me as I walk out the door and hands me my phone. "If you can remember my name, call me."
Later that night I text two girls (no idea what her name was). Hers was the first response (the other girl texted, "who the fuck are you?" lol).
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Gaming is Not Just About Women
Something to remember is that pickup is not just about picking up women. It is about improving lives. If we were all high quality men, we would be surrounded by women and have our pick. Sure, there is something to be said for knowing the basics of how to talk to a girl, but beyond that it is simply living an exciting, social life.
A lot of the principles we learn on the road to PUA come in handy down the line. Giving value to others will make you a popular person with many friends. Being a man of your word will earn you the respect of others. Making your body more attractive via the gym will make you feel better and give you more energy. Living an exciting life is its own reward.
We should remember things we can do every day to keep us in "state." By "state," I mean that feeling you have when you are on top of the world. Feeling accomplished. Below is a list of a few things that, for me, keep me well-rounded and happy. If I miss one of these, I end up feeling worse. They are things I do every day that make me feel good about myself. You should have your own.
A lot of the principles we learn on the road to PUA come in handy down the line. Giving value to others will make you a popular person with many friends. Being a man of your word will earn you the respect of others. Making your body more attractive via the gym will make you feel better and give you more energy. Living an exciting life is its own reward.
We should remember things we can do every day to keep us in "state." By "state," I mean that feeling you have when you are on top of the world. Feeling accomplished. Below is a list of a few things that, for me, keep me well-rounded and happy. If I miss one of these, I end up feeling worse. They are things I do every day that make me feel good about myself. You should have your own.
- Do something active (like working out)
- Do what I had planned to do that day (no laziness/putting it off)
- Make plans for the next day, possibly the week
- Clean up after myself (e.g., dishes, taking out trash, etc.)
- Help someone/talk to someone.
- Get off the internet.
Those are mine. When I accomplish all six, I feel good about myself. If I don't, it tends to snowball and I end up feeling worse down the line. I basically try to improve everyday.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Sets is not just girls
When I write about opening "sets," what I mean is talking to people. I say, "talk to everyone" a lot, but people rarely know what I mean. I literally mean "talk to everyone."
You're not going to get better at this if you don't like talking to people. When I go out with guys, they are so intent at talking to girls that they totally forget about their social game. What sets us apart from every other AFC trying to hit on girls is that we're talking to everyone: the life of the party. We're talking to the doorman going into the club, and flirting with the bartender. We're asking the guy in the bathroom how his night is going and leaving him a tip. We're talking to the person next to us at the bar ("Hey. Is this bartender taking forever?"). We talk to the group of old ladies, and the hotties who just walked in. This is game.
Here's an example. At a concert the other night, I was talking to this guy. He seemed like just a normal guy, trying to enjoy the show. He was eyeballing every girl that passed. Eventually, a cute blonde chick comes up to me and asks me for a cigarette. Now I never let that go. I give her shit. I'm ALWAYS giving girls shit (it's part of the persona. 1 - it shows you're cool to be around, 2 - you can't give a fuck. You're talking to so many girls, you mine as well make it fun). This girl's digging it. She starts qualifying herself HARD. At one point her friend comes over, but I ISO the chick and eventually her friend leaves. I was a little tipsy and nothing came out of it. After she leaves, I tell the guy to my left, "Well, that's about all I had in me tonight." He goes, "HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!"
It's no secret. Talk to everyone. Be the life of the party. Let your confidence show and be prepared for when girls open you. I am still learning how to handle girls opening me. It's relatively new to me, but I'm pretty sure I'll get there.
Keep at it, playas.
You're not going to get better at this if you don't like talking to people. When I go out with guys, they are so intent at talking to girls that they totally forget about their social game. What sets us apart from every other AFC trying to hit on girls is that we're talking to everyone: the life of the party. We're talking to the doorman going into the club, and flirting with the bartender. We're asking the guy in the bathroom how his night is going and leaving him a tip. We're talking to the person next to us at the bar ("Hey. Is this bartender taking forever?"). We talk to the group of old ladies, and the hotties who just walked in. This is game.
Here's an example. At a concert the other night, I was talking to this guy. He seemed like just a normal guy, trying to enjoy the show. He was eyeballing every girl that passed. Eventually, a cute blonde chick comes up to me and asks me for a cigarette. Now I never let that go. I give her shit. I'm ALWAYS giving girls shit (it's part of the persona. 1 - it shows you're cool to be around, 2 - you can't give a fuck. You're talking to so many girls, you mine as well make it fun). This girl's digging it. She starts qualifying herself HARD. At one point her friend comes over, but I ISO the chick and eventually her friend leaves. I was a little tipsy and nothing came out of it. After she leaves, I tell the guy to my left, "Well, that's about all I had in me tonight." He goes, "HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!"
It's no secret. Talk to everyone. Be the life of the party. Let your confidence show and be prepared for when girls open you. I am still learning how to handle girls opening me. It's relatively new to me, but I'm pretty sure I'll get there.
Keep at it, playas.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Couple of Sets from Saturday
1. Open a fourset. I open the cutest girl of the group. Find out she's Colombian. They are all Colombian, except for the one who seems to be the leader. I talk to her for a bit because her English is the best. I keep going back to the Colombian girl to get her talking. I guess I could've escalated better. Eventually, the set is dragged off by a friend who's found a table in the back. I awkwardly eject instead of giving them a chance to invite me.
2. Outside, some chick comes by and asks for a cigarette. Her tits are fantastic. She has the thinnest cigarette ever so I ask her if she's a 40 y/o mother of three. She gets offended. I say, "the only reason I can joke with you about that is because you're 23." She hooks right away. She says she just turned 30. I say, "Me too!" and high five. It's going well and we're talking, but when I say, "where are your girls?," she runs away to find them. Whoops.
3. Talk to a seated twoset. Doesn't get very far. One girl says "check you later!" with the gun motion from Dazed and Confused. I want to reference but can't remember what I want to say. Tell her I'll be back when I remember. Remember and go back saying to her, "all right, all right, all right."
4. Talk to twoset at the bar. REALLY hard to break into. Focus on the blonde who seems most open, but really want to talk to brunette. Eventually brunette opens up. Says she's moving to NY. I ask where and she says lower east side. I ask if she's rich. She says, "No, but my fiance....well, not actually my fiancee." I make fun of her mercilessly for this. We talk a bit about NYC, but it's a weird set. The blonde doesn't seem that interested, and I am really interested in the brunette, but if she's moving in with a guy, I couldn't do that. So I talk for a bit more and eject.
5. Head over to the 100 sets link for this number close.
6. There's a booth open at McTeague's. See two girls racing to it. I race to it. Make it look like I was heading there. Give them some shit. They invite me to sit. I oblige. We talk some. I run out of steam or something (tends to happen a bunch, not sure if it's my own mental block or what) and eject out of the booth.
7. Another fun one. Talking to some people about the back patio of this one place. They say there's a place to sit back there and the guy goes, "Shit, maybe I shouldn't have told you." The girl splits to start going back there and I say, "OOOoooooh. I'm getting there first." I start chasing her. She moves quicker. In the dining room I say, "EXCUSE ME!" and attempt to pass her, but she's faster. When we get back there she finds two open tables and says, "I guess we're all going to have to hang out together now," or something similar. We talk a bit. She was a fun/hot girl in a group full of guys. Always a bit awkward/intimidating.
8. Last bar of the night. Bartender asks me what I want. I tell her to make me her best drink. She says, "that's a lot of pressure." I say, "I like vodka." She makes something with Absolut Citron and Drambouie. Says it tastes like rainbow shirbert. Holy shit it does.
2. Outside, some chick comes by and asks for a cigarette. Her tits are fantastic. She has the thinnest cigarette ever so I ask her if she's a 40 y/o mother of three. She gets offended. I say, "the only reason I can joke with you about that is because you're 23." She hooks right away. She says she just turned 30. I say, "Me too!" and high five. It's going well and we're talking, but when I say, "where are your girls?," she runs away to find them. Whoops.
3. Talk to a seated twoset. Doesn't get very far. One girl says "check you later!" with the gun motion from Dazed and Confused. I want to reference but can't remember what I want to say. Tell her I'll be back when I remember. Remember and go back saying to her, "all right, all right, all right."
4. Talk to twoset at the bar. REALLY hard to break into. Focus on the blonde who seems most open, but really want to talk to brunette. Eventually brunette opens up. Says she's moving to NY. I ask where and she says lower east side. I ask if she's rich. She says, "No, but my fiance....well, not actually my fiancee." I make fun of her mercilessly for this. We talk a bit about NYC, but it's a weird set. The blonde doesn't seem that interested, and I am really interested in the brunette, but if she's moving in with a guy, I couldn't do that. So I talk for a bit more and eject.
5. Head over to the 100 sets link for this number close.
6. There's a booth open at McTeague's. See two girls racing to it. I race to it. Make it look like I was heading there. Give them some shit. They invite me to sit. I oblige. We talk some. I run out of steam or something (tends to happen a bunch, not sure if it's my own mental block or what) and eject out of the booth.
7. Another fun one. Talking to some people about the back patio of this one place. They say there's a place to sit back there and the guy goes, "Shit, maybe I shouldn't have told you." The girl splits to start going back there and I say, "OOOoooooh. I'm getting there first." I start chasing her. She moves quicker. In the dining room I say, "EXCUSE ME!" and attempt to pass her, but she's faster. When we get back there she finds two open tables and says, "I guess we're all going to have to hang out together now," or something similar. We talk a bit. She was a fun/hot girl in a group full of guys. Always a bit awkward/intimidating.
8. Last bar of the night. Bartender asks me what I want. I tell her to make me her best drink. She says, "that's a lot of pressure." I say, "I like vodka." She makes something with Absolut Citron and Drambouie. Says it tastes like rainbow shirbert. Holy shit it does.
Friday, August 26, 2011
What is "Gaming?"
The other day, I made a post on Seddit called "ABG = Always Be Gaming." There was a little confusion as to what I meant. Here is what I meant.
Gaming, to me, is not something you do out in the club, or at a bar. Rather, the aim of the game is for self-transformation. Some have called it "mansformation." Others call it "inner game." At least one news show in the San Francisco area calls pick-up bootcamps "geek class." So what is "game?"
Game is the development of self. We all come to the game because we are either crap with women (most likely), or need a boost to get better (less likely). Through the game, we learn tricks on how to get over our AA and approach women, openers used so we have something to say, routines to stack so we can talk to women, and gambits in order to help us grow the balls to kiss them. The game teaches us of attraction switches and AMOG techniques. Basically, what we are learning is how to become "natural."
There is a natural progression in the game. One goes from using all the tricks in the book, to slowly weening off of the generic ones and making ones for yourself, to never using them again. We all start off as chodes, then through our mansformation become alpha and learn how to act in everyday life. What the game does is give us confidence and teaches us how to become better with women and men alike. Basically, it teaches us to be better social human beings.
What does all this mean? It means the game does not begin when you walk in the club and does not end when you walk out. The game is something to be internalized. Abundance mentality and assuming attraction is stuff that should happen to you all the time. You shouldn't have to put on a particular shirt or use a particular routine to become "alpha." Rather, you should already be "alpha" all the time. By creating a better YOU, you make yourself the player. And if YOU ARE THE PLAYER, it means you cannot turn him off. It means you are gaming from the moment you wake up until the moment you fall asleep. It is not being sleezy, it is simply being the best you possible and making others around you feel great. That is not something that can end.
"But NLA," they say, "I can't game at work!" Fuck that noise. You are allowed to be charming 100% of the time. You are allowed to give value to everyone you meet. You are allowed to have great body language every waking minute of your life. If you are not doing these things always, if you are not making eye contact with and talking to everyone you meet, then you are doing it wrong. The best way to game is to internalize it and carry it with you through life. It means you are always practicing. People who always practice get better quicker than people who never do. So practice! Be the game. ABG.
Gaming, to me, is not something you do out in the club, or at a bar. Rather, the aim of the game is for self-transformation. Some have called it "mansformation." Others call it "inner game." At least one news show in the San Francisco area calls pick-up bootcamps "geek class." So what is "game?"
Game is the development of self. We all come to the game because we are either crap with women (most likely), or need a boost to get better (less likely). Through the game, we learn tricks on how to get over our AA and approach women, openers used so we have something to say, routines to stack so we can talk to women, and gambits in order to help us grow the balls to kiss them. The game teaches us of attraction switches and AMOG techniques. Basically, what we are learning is how to become "natural."
There is a natural progression in the game. One goes from using all the tricks in the book, to slowly weening off of the generic ones and making ones for yourself, to never using them again. We all start off as chodes, then through our mansformation become alpha and learn how to act in everyday life. What the game does is give us confidence and teaches us how to become better with women and men alike. Basically, it teaches us to be better social human beings.
What does all this mean? It means the game does not begin when you walk in the club and does not end when you walk out. The game is something to be internalized. Abundance mentality and assuming attraction is stuff that should happen to you all the time. You shouldn't have to put on a particular shirt or use a particular routine to become "alpha." Rather, you should already be "alpha" all the time. By creating a better YOU, you make yourself the player. And if YOU ARE THE PLAYER, it means you cannot turn him off. It means you are gaming from the moment you wake up until the moment you fall asleep. It is not being sleezy, it is simply being the best you possible and making others around you feel great. That is not something that can end.
"But NLA," they say, "I can't game at work!" Fuck that noise. You are allowed to be charming 100% of the time. You are allowed to give value to everyone you meet. You are allowed to have great body language every waking minute of your life. If you are not doing these things always, if you are not making eye contact with and talking to everyone you meet, then you are doing it wrong. The best way to game is to internalize it and carry it with you through life. It means you are always practicing. People who always practice get better quicker than people who never do. So practice! Be the game. ABG.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Journal Entry: 8/8/11
One thing I want to do with this blog, as well as regular updates and lessons, is to keep a journal on my current progress. Here is today's entry.
I've noticed now that I've been focusing on body language and eye contact that people on the street are respecting me. Men move out of the way to let me by. Women check me out and seem genuinely disappointed that I did not open them. My mini-goal to focus on in the coming weeks will be to open these women who check me out on the streets. It doesn't matter what I say, I just want to check them out. Gauge their interest.
Another thing this has taught me is how important confidence is and how much it can effect your state. If your body language is solid, everything else falls into place. If you walk down the street in a confident manner and smile at everyone you meet, you're going to start to feel better about yourself. It's a great way to start the day. As a modern alpha male, I am a value-giver. I make people's days everyday. They are happy to have me in the world, and I am happy to be in it. And it shows.
I've noticed now that I've been focusing on body language and eye contact that people on the street are respecting me. Men move out of the way to let me by. Women check me out and seem genuinely disappointed that I did not open them. My mini-goal to focus on in the coming weeks will be to open these women who check me out on the streets. It doesn't matter what I say, I just want to check them out. Gauge their interest.
Another thing this has taught me is how important confidence is and how much it can effect your state. If your body language is solid, everything else falls into place. If you walk down the street in a confident manner and smile at everyone you meet, you're going to start to feel better about yourself. It's a great way to start the day. As a modern alpha male, I am a value-giver. I make people's days everyday. They are happy to have me in the world, and I am happy to be in it. And it shows.
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