Some [FRs] from the weekend

Was sick and bogged down at work, so didn't go out much last week.  However, I did go out Friday and Saturday.  Here are those FRs.

Friday - Went out with coworkers beforehand.  There was a hot twoset behind us.  I noticed them walking in, then ignored them to talk to my coworkers and build up social proof.  They were both sitting facing the door and I was sitting with my back towards them.  At one point I turned around and said something along the lines of, "can you two please keep it down back there, we're trying to talk!"  Of course I said it with a big, shit-eating grin and they loved it, hooking right away.  I talked for them a bit before turning my attention back to my group.  I later opened them again.  I was giving one of the girls (Russian) some kino, but she was not digging it.  The other one was into me, but I didn't make my move because I am uncomfortable sarging in the spotlight of coworkers.  I would have invited them to sit with us, but logistics were awful.

When everyone was calling it a night at 8:00, I decided to go and hit up a local bar.  I went in and ordered a few drinks and tried to flirt with the bartender a little.  Sent out a coupla pings to friends.  One hit, so we went next door to another place I know (Fred's).  Hung around, but not much was going on.  My friend wanted to go to a dive bar, so we bounced there.  Inside it was crowded.  I went to the bathroom and on the way so a girl I number closed before Thanksgiving.  Talked with her, showed her the pictures I had on my phone of us, and told her I would call her later.  My friend and I bounced, and that was that.  Talked to a couple of other girls here and there, but nothing noteworthy.

Saturday - Friend (girl)'s birthday party.  Meet up her house about nine and start drinking.  They are doing shots and eventually get wasted.  We hang out there for a bit then head out to a club.  The place is CRACKIN with HB 9s and 8s all over the place.  I am still uncomfortable approaching when the hot girl-rate is so high.  At one point I am in the patio-area smoking.  I notice that where I am standing there is a bunch of guys and on the other side of the space there are a bunch of girls.  It's like a high school dance.  While I am thinking, a cutie comes up to me and asks for a cigarette.  I give her a look, but she stays.  I tell her that I might give her a butt if she did something cool/funny.  She's like, "what?"  I say, "what are you good at?"  She thinks about it, but says, "nothing."  Then her eyes light up and she says, "oooh.  I know!"  She then bends her thumbs backwards and says, "see?"  I'm like, "wtf?!"  I kino her a bit and of course make fun of her a little.  I give her a cigarette and light it.  She calls me a gentleman.  We talk for a little big longer before she bounces.

After this interaction I'm thinking, "wtf am I doing?"  I walk across the space to two gals who look as though they are waiting to be opened.  I move in and say, "it's like a high school dance in here with girls on one side and guys on the other."  They laugh and are opened.  We talk a bit, with me giving them shit and them complimenting me ("You don't look like a smoker.  You have a good complexion and look clean").  I bounce inside to look for my way-too drunk friend to make sure she's not getting me into trouble.

Two things about two of the girls in the group I'm with.  One is the birthday girl and is constantly trying to get into my pants, but I LJBF'd her.  She is way too drunk tonight.  Another is a cute girl who only likes buff black guys.  I am not a buff black guy, but I get the feeling that she has a thing for me, so I flirt with her.  She buys me a drink at one point in the night with very little prompting.  Later in the night, she is probably too drunk and clinging all over me, holding my hand, all the signs.  I try to kiss her but get the cheek twice.  Being unreactive I just don't give a fuck, but it was fun.

Later, I go back outside to the dance floor and reopen the twoset from earlier.  I do some grinding with them and cop a feel or two off of them.  My interest level isn't high as they are both 40-somethings, but they've got great bodies and one is French while the other is Brazilian.  I attempt to number close the French gal (even though the Brazilian would've been easier to close) and get the "I'll take yours."  So I put it in and press "send."  I then hand her phone back and go to take out mine.  She ends the call before I get to my phone and says, "I'll call you."  Welp, I've got to look for my friends and don't have time to fuck with her, so I peace.

At one point a wing from seddit shows up.  I get separated from my other friends, so we bounce to another bar (Fred's again).  The place is packed and there are two separate lines, both about 20 people deep.  We walk past the front, see that it's hopeless (getting close to bar time) and darkenergizerbunny says, "why don't we just walk in?"  "Sure," I say.  "We've got to just walk right up like we own the place."  So I go to the front.  I see a bouncer we know, walk right up to him and say, "we were outside smoking."  He says, "hey man."  We are on the other side of the velvet rope and there are two lines on either side of us.  He's letting a group of girls in.  One says something about showing her tits, so I vibe with the bouncer about that a bit.  When he turns to face me again, I make a move to go in and he opens the velvet rope.  I point to my wing and say, "this guy's with me."  We go in.  Place is packed.  I make a bee-line for the back bar.

Now, I can't say exactly what happened, other than to say that I always open a set at the bar, if available.  This time is no different.  I find an empty space at the bar (probably talking to girls on my way in) and say something to a cutie next to me.  She is  very receptive, so we start to talking.  I'm not even sure about what, but I one point I remember a line I read on seddit that I want to give a try.  I say, "Listen, I'm not gay and I don't have a girlfriend or anything, I just suck at flirting and I think you are cute.  Thought I'd throw that out there."  We then go back to talking.  I can tell in her face when I tell her that she's intrigued and it works.  RIGHT ON!  Wish I could remember who I got the line from.  I end up hanging out with this girl for the rest of the night.  Her friend (cousin) kind of hates me and seems to be trying to get rid of me, but this girl is dragging me around by holding my hand.  At some point the lights come on and we are getting separated in the crowd.  I take out my phone, put it onto a new contact page and put it in her hand.  I then lose her in the crowd.  I've never been so worried.  I thought I might never see my phone again.

I walk outside with my wing.  She's right there greeting me as I walk out the door and hands me my phone.  "If you can remember my name, call me."

Later that night I text two girls (no idea what her name was).  Hers was the first response (the other girl texted, "who the fuck are you?"  lol).

NLA Social Network is Working [FR]

Scene: Saturday night.  Not wanting to go out, but looking because I did not go out the night before.  Called up a couple of BAS'ers, but they were with family/unavailable.  About 6pm I get two texts from two separate girls.

The first girl invited me to a concert for some band.  I googled the band and it was some death metal shit.  I was not interested.  The second girl invited me to some party.  "Jersey Shore" theme.  Said it starts at 9:30.  I waited an hour and a half and texted both girls back.  To the first I said, "Can't make it tonight."  To the second I said, "Sounds cool.  Where is it?"  She gave me the address and I got ready.

The FR  Party started at 9:30, so I planned on getting there about ten.  I got there at 10:30.  As soon as I get to the address, I see three girls standing outside.  So what do I do?  I talk to them, dummy!  I say, "Is this where the fistpumping happens?" (remember, Jersey Shore).  They laugh, so I talk some shit.  There's a girl standing in my way, so I make a big deal like she's in my way to her friends.  Eventually, they get her to move and I go in.

The Party  I enter and it's a tiny house party (studio apartment).  Turns out its some guy's birthday.  I see the girl who invited me and she smiles, comes right up to me and says, "You came!"  I put my six-pack in the fridge (byob) and get to drinking.  It's a pretty nice party.  The venue is small, but there are a bunch of cute girls.  My invitor introduces me to people, so I am not wont for conversation.  I don't stick to the chick who invited me and instead spread my love around.  I talk to everyone at the party at some point (~25 people).  A twoset of hotties come in so I open them.  Nothing stuck, but I gave them shit the whole night (e.g., "You guys are the life of the party!  Came in and sat down right away.  You guys need to chill it out.").

It becomes a blur at this point.  People are in and out, but I establish myself as alpha.  Some guy is drunk as shit and tries starting shit with me, but I defuse him and befriend him.  I am talking to everyone and having a blast.  Some guy tries taking my beer, but I persuade him not to.  A twoset of hotties (another one) comes in, and I talk to them a lot.  One of the girls is super cute and I am pretty sure the other is a lesbian.  I facebook close them both.  God, I want the hot one, but she said she has a boyfriend.  The HB lesbian said they were lovers or some shit when I first opened them, but I was nonreactive and just plowed.

One of the girls I saw earlier in the night (one of the girls from outside that I first encountered) is leaving, so I engage her in conversation.  She's with her friend, so I talk to them both, but focus on the hottie.  Things are going swimmingly, so I say, "we should hang out some time."  This is my can't lose number close.  I wait for her to respond with, "yes."  Her friend interrupts and there's some chit-chat in between, but I stay persistent and she agrees.  I say, "Great!  Then you should give me your number."  I get my "new contact" screen up and hand her my phone.  She puts her shit in there and I call her.  She entered it wrong the first time, so we fix it.  She put in her first and last name without provocation (serious IOI).  I make some more chitchat and say goodbye.  I texted her the next morning and got a good response (basically, made fun of her last name).

As the party's winding down, it's clear that the girl who invited me wants to go home with me.  I don't fuck it up, act cool and take her home.  Yes players, it's a lay report.  Take her home the next morning and hit the gym.  I knew today would be a good day :)

Lastly, on my way to the party (forgot this), I got a text from a girl.  "What are you up to buddy, wanna drink?"  Lol, I LOVE social game.  Remember to talk to everyone and the situations will present themselves.  Be true to yourself, future players.

Newbies Post, Some Lessons for Beginners

I don't know about your local lair, but in the bay area we have new guys constantly coming out with us and most are beginners. Usually these guys come out once or twice and are never heard from again. These men are not ready for a mansformation.

Before entering the community, you've got to look at yourself in the mirror and decide to make a change. You've got to say, "what I've been doing has not been working out. I'm ready to change." If you're not ready to embrace the ideas of this community, then you're not ready for seduction. It's that easy. Seduction is not going out on Friday nights and trying to talk to women, its becoming a better person. It's not for the weekend warriors, its for those men who are ready to change their lives.

Okay, so you're ready. You've decided to commit yourself and make some serious changes. Now's the hard part: you've got to do it.

Seduction is like any field of study. You can read all the theory you want and that's good, in practice. However, ask yourself the same thing every fifth grade student asks his math teacher: "How will this help me in life?

Fellas, you've got to get out there and sarge. There is simply no way to improve unless you start talking to women. Hell, talk to anyone. Talk to everyone. Get out of your house and live an interesting life. Get yourself a hobby (other than seduction) and commit to it. To bastardize a quote from Gandhi, be the change you want to see.

Now for the meat of this post. Some simple tips for those guys who are just starting out:

Your first 2000 sets are just practice. I'll repeat that. Your first 2000 sets are all just practice. You didn't think this would be easy, did you? There's a reason why we start with the 100 set challenge (/r/100sets). It's because 2000 is an intimidating number. And it is, if you think of it that way. However, it is just a means to the end. Anything you're really good at, think about how much time you've put into it. I'm sure it's well over 2000 hours. Well, seduction's the same way. You've got to put in your time.

Now, these sets don't have to be perfect. They don't even have to be awesome. Your first set can be walking up to a girl, saying "hi," and running away. Congrats! That's one set! What's important is to actually get to 2000 sets. And the sooner you get there, the better. Like all learned skills, your seduction skills will erode over time (any guy who got out of a long-term relationship before coming here will attest to that).

The second thing about framing your first 2000 sets as practice sets is that it prepares you for the actual time it takes to progress in this field. Seduction takes time. It's a learned skill. You've got a lifetime of bad habits to fix. You should not be expecting to move mountains within the first week or even month of doing this. However, you will be constantly improving. Which moves to the next step.

Be happy for every improvement. I've seen it. Some guys come out a couple of nights, don't get any numbers in their first couple of tries and quit. It's because their goals are too high. Look, everyone is different and everyone has their own pace. While one aPUA will go from AFC to k-close in a month, it may take another a year. What is important to focus on are the small improvements you make.

Let's say you have crippling social anxiety and to go out with people from your lair that first time and it was HELL just getting out of your house. That's step one. Then you met some people. That's step two. You didn't talk to anyone outside the lair that night, but you made some potential friends. Next time you go out, you open a fourset of dudes. You're talking to them the whole night. That's your next step. Next time you go out, you open a fat girl sitting at the end of the bar. Congratulations, you are improving!

Along the way, there are many things you can be happy about and if you look, you'll see many areas in which you are improving. As you improve, remember two things. 1) as Han said to Luke, "Don't get cocky, kid!" You've still got a ways to go. 2) At the same time, rejoice in the small steps you take on a way to becoming a better man. Oftentimes, it is the journey that we look back on with most fondness.

Have the proper frame when you start going out Let's say you've got no wings and that your area has no lair. You start going out alone. You talk to ALL the women. You don't do great. You are not sticking in your sets. You are not reaching your goals. May I suggest this frame: "I'm just going out to make new friends." Those eight words, if you believe them, will get you sticking to more sets than you have time for. One of my favorite openers, and please feel free to use it, is to walk over to a group of girls and say, "Hey! You girls look really cool, so I just had to come over here and talk to you." Forget about negs for a minute, forget about routines, forget about everything Mystery taught you. Just walk into a set and open. Talk to them (not at them). Turn the fourset into a five (or two into a three, etc.). Remember, your first 2000 sets are all practice, so if you forget your DiCarlo kino escalation ladder, it's fine. You're in set. Be happy, because you are improving!

Don't sweat it. The dirty secrets of the seduction world are as follows: 1) it takes a long time to become a PUA. 2) You actually have to gasp work at it. So, Get out there and sarge!

Finally, keep a journal. Keep notes on your progress day-to-day. What you've learned, things you can improve on, who you met, what's been working for you, etc. A month down the road, you'll be eternally grateful when you look back and see the progress you've made.

Guys, I want you to get better. I want good wings. I am sick of going into the field, opening a set, and having three guys lurk around the edges as I talk to a twoset of girls. Do it for yourself, do it for me, do it for the girl who's waiting for the perfect man. Get out there and become a social person. Learn how to talk to people. Make friends. Just sarge.

[LR] 11/17/11

Posting this up a bit late.  Went out with snarkymcchoad from the boards.  It was our first time hanging out and was a blast.  Pre-gamed it at a bar with cheap drinks and there were SF cheerleaders there.  Opened the cheerleaders, waited for McChoad, got into a set, then saw McChoad.  Ejected from my set.  Saw them later in the night and said, "what're you guys, following me around?!"  One thing I notice when I use this line is girls try to reframe it ("no, you're following US!").  Just an observation.

Hit next spot.  Standing at the bar when some girl walks in and looks at me.  I look at her.  She looks familiar.  She comes over and opens me.  Apparently I was dancing with her one night at a different bar.  She says, "I should've gotten your number."  I say, "well we should fix that right now."  We exchange numbers (wherein she puts in her full name, unprompted).  She ends up clinging to me the whole night.  A couple of times I move in to k-close, but she backs away, so I do too.  Hit up the next spot and she follows.

The next spot is more of a club atmosphere.  9s and 10s all around just giving me AA like you read about.  I lose my hanger-on.  I start talking to this one girl.  We're kissing within ten minutes.  It's not something I was necessarily looking for, but she kept leaning into me.  (This happens to me once a week, where there's a girl I'm not really all that interested in kissing who really wants to get some.  I guess there's something to be said for being prepared/right place, right time.)  So I say "fuck it" and go for the makeout.  I pull out first.  I tell her "I have to go find my friend, but let me get your number so we can hang out later."  She says ok.

Go with Snarky to the dance floor.  We work on our dance game.  I try opening a few sets, but to no avail.  There's a real attractive HB Black girl whom I try dancing with, but it doesn't go spectacularly.  I try to open her by opening her (male) friend who is dancing and use him as an excuse to get into their dance circle.  Doesn't really go that well.  Eventually, McChoad and I decide to call it a night.

Walking home I text my hanger-on ("what happened to you") and the girl I just met ("Hey, it's NLA.  Don't makeout with any more guys tonight.").  My phone burps and I restart it.  When it comes back on, there are two messages from new girl.  Something to the effect of "let's meetup?"  I text back, "heading home.  Where are you?"  At this point, I should point out that the only game you should be running when you get a text like that is logistics.  Your job is to not fuck up.  Find out where she is, clean up the house a bit, and head to the address she gave me (some sorority house).  By this point its pushing 3 a.m. on a Thursday night.  I pick her up and she wants me to give her (hot) friend a ride home.  I give shit then comply.  Her friend is grilling me on the way.  I'm like "what's with the twenty questions?"  She says, "you're about to fuck my friend, I want to know about you."  lol, ok.  We get to the friend's house, which is also the girl's house.  She beckons me in.  I oblige.  These chicks come from rich families, but w/e.  The friend pushes us into the girl's bedroom and she jumps on me.  That's all you get.

Something I should've done is pulled the hot friend in for a threesome.  She was saying how she is going to miss sleeping with her (name of new girl).  These girls were ready for it.  Alas, this is something to work on in the future.

Another thing I really have got to work on is my 10 game.  I know it shouldn't feel different talking to tens, but it does.

Finally, Snarky, good hanging with you man.  We'll definitely be doing it again soon.

On Giving Value

Giving value is a completely selfless act. We do it to make others feel better about themselves. When you are giving value, you are seeking nothing in return and giving everything. It is this act of selflessness which resonates with others. We, as humans, are constantly thinking of our selves and have a tendency to act selfishly. Yet when we give value to others, we do so for no purpose other than to make those around us feel better.

Perhaps the argument can be made that by making others around us feel better, we make the world a better place for ourselves (and better equip ourselves to be surrounded by high value people) – a selfish act under the surface. However, the goal of making a better life helps not only ourselves, but those in our immediate vicinity. By feeling better, we are better equipped to help those around us feel better when interacting with us. By making our lives as socially comfortable as possible, we open others up to our world and allow them to feel better about themselves.

It is only after we feel good about ourselves that we can make others feel better. Therefore, a central precept of value-giving is making our lives better along the way. You can say you want to give value, but it is a worthless endeavor if you do not represent value in yourself. If a valueless person gives value to another, what has he given? What does he have to give? You cannot give something that you yourself don’t have.

Therefore, in order to give better value to others, we should constantly be seeking to make our own lives more valuable. This is a lesson not only for pickup, but for every aspect of our lives. If we make efforts every day to make our lives more attractive to not only others, but ourselves, we will have remarkable value reserves that we can then share with others. Some things to do to increase your own value include: dressing better, taking care of your body by working out and eating right, becoming financially stable, having a strong sense of self-worth, being self-amused, and having a strong social circle. When all these things come together, we are in a better place to make others feel better about themselves. When this happens, people will want to be close with you.

If you need an end result for giving value, it is this: by giving value you make it so that others will want to be with you. You give good feelings and others will want those good feelings to continue. The best way to do that is to spend more time with you. You give freely of your time to others, thus giving more value. They value you more highly and are more likely to do things to help you. This in turn gives your life more valuable and better equips you to have high value in the future. By giving value, we set ourselves up to receive value. If done right, it is a never-ending chain of you giving value (expecting nothing in return) and receiving value back, which you then reinvest in others. Once set in motion, this force is not easily stopped and you will be taken care of for a long time to come, value-wise. So give value freely, expect nothing in return, and reap the rewards that come with it.

11/11/11 - Day 2

Logistics This day two was arranged after my Halloween pickup and k-close that can be found within this blog.  We had originally planned to meetup that Sunday, but she claimed a hangover, so we did not meet.  We agreed to meet the following Sunday to attend a museum.  However, that fell through as well and plans were made for the Friday above.  I arranged a guest-list pass for a show and had her pick a bar for us to meet.  She arrived early and I was running late.

First Location - I arrived and hit the can right away (long drive).  I found her and said, "do you remember me?"  She said, "nope."  I was working uphill.  I offered to buy her a drink because I was late.  I returned with the drink and we talked about a plethora of topics ranging from where we grew up (two towns apart from each other as it turns out), to what we do, to philosophizing on various subjects.  We had two drinks at this location before moving on to the spot I had planned.

Second Location - However, upon arrival at the place, the line was terribly long.  I suggested we have a drink at the bar across the way.  She complied.

Third Location - We get in and order up a couple of Guiness.  I think at one point I use my patented "sorry, I wasn't listening to you.  I was staring at your legs" (she was wearing a short-short skirt and had on tights.  Her legs looked good).  It fell flat.  This was going nowhere fast and every time I attempted kino, she was slightly put-off.  Eventually she goes to the bathroom.  When she comes back she says, "this isn't going to work."  I say, "huh?"  She says, "well, what do you think?  Do you think this is working?  I don't like waiting in lines."  I have no idea what this is so I go, "whoa, whoa, whoa.  What did you think was going on here?  We're just two people having drinks.  Nothing else."  She seems satisfied with this and is intimating that she wants to go.  I tell her, "Well, seeing as how I bought the last round of drinks, as far as I see it, you owe me a drink."  Lol, she says, "you're right, I'll get you one."  She orders it.  I say, "you can have one too."  She orders two.

The Bounce  We sit there drinking these beers, and honestly I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders.  I wasn't interesting in this girl that much anyway, and now that we're just hanging out, I feel downright giddy.  So, we're talking and I am still initiating kino (which she is not totally compliant with).  I send out a couple of texts and arrange to meetup with some other PUAs at other locations.  I tell her where I am going and she says "oh, I like that bar."  I tell her she can come too.  She's non-commital but walks out with me.  She says she's going to stop at a hotel and get a cab.  I tell her it's fine and that I have to get my car.  She starts walking with me and we walk for two or three blocks together.  I have no idea what's going on.  Eventually, we get to a corner and she says, "here's a cab."  I tell her, "you should take it," and keep walking.  She stops and says, "okay, I'm taking this cab...."  Without turning around, I say "see ya."

lol, ok, so I was kind of a dick towards the end but I was honestly sick of her shit.  She was playing games with me and I was not having it.  At one point she let slip that she is currently living with her ex-boyfriend, does not bring people home, and has no plans of moving out.  Dealbreaker as far as I'm concerned.

I think if I pushed the matter I could have gotten her to hang out more, but again, I was sick of this chick.  The girl I made out with on Halloween was cute, loose (I mean body-language-wise, not morally), care-free and interesting.  This girl was snobbish, a braggart and aloof.  Maybe if I had gotten her more drunk it would have been better, but I could see there was no future there (which may have been what turned her off in the first place).

Later on I met up with a guy from the community and had a great time picking up this other chick.  So the night wasn't a total waste.

11/10/11 Day 2

The FR that led to this day 2 is here.  In between there was some texting.  She texted me the next day saying "totally forgot, but I have class until 9p on Thursday."  I tell her to get her homework done early so we can go out after.  She agrees, but on Thursday tries to flake, saying she has to work early Friday and asks if we can go out Sunday.  I tell her "mebbe, but Sunday's no good."  She replies back something, I call her naughty, she tells me it's on for tonight.  Some logistical texts follow, and I tell her to meet me at a club at 10:30.  Throughout the night she's asking me what to wear, where the place is, etc.  Frankly, I thought she was a little crazy, but w/e.

Get there at 10:30 and order a drink.  Wait around.  She texts me, says she's there.  I tell her where I am.  She comes back and we hug.  I tell her she looks good.  I tell her to get a drink.  We talk at the bar for a while.  She's a close talker and pulls me in when she says something.  It makes kino very easy.  She is very sensual and it turns me on in a big way.  I tell her.  I also make sure to push-pull, ramp attraction, and generally be a PUA (in control of the situation, leading frame, etc.).  For those of you guys wondering, I made her get her own drinks, but ended up buying her one towards the end of the night (after the k-close I think).

My biggest mistake of the night was not going in for the kiss close early.  It took me a good hour before I just said "fuck it" and went in there.  I really need to work on having balls and going in for the kiss close.

One of the funniest moments of the night was when I went to the bathroom and came back to find her talking to a guy.  "He says he's a motivational speaker!" she says.  I look the guy in the eyes.  "that's great," I say.  I smile.  She's asking him questions, but I can tell he's getting uncomfortable.  I just give him value and say, "awesome," whenever he says something.  Then, when I'm finished, I open my gal and close off my body language.  He gets the picture and ditches.  I think he was a community guy, so if you were at Myth last night, let me know.

Anyway, we head out to a divey type bar.  Then we get something to eat.  Then we're in her car and I have her drive to my place (where I have a garden-type area in the back).  I take her back there.  We're both tired at this point (excuses, I know), so nothing really happens.  We just sit back there and chill a bit.  Then I have her drive me back to my car.  I get out.  She says, "you know, I won't bite," so I go back in and kiss her a bit.  Then I get in my car and drive away.

Later that night I texted her, "we should do that again sometime, but with more sex ;)"  No response.  heh, we shall see.

Gaming is Not Just About Women

Something to remember is that pickup is not just about picking up women.  It is about improving lives.  If we were all high quality men, we would be surrounded by women and have our pick.  Sure, there is something to be said for knowing the basics of how to talk to a girl, but beyond that it is simply living an exciting, social life.

A lot of the principles we learn on the road to PUA come in handy down the line.  Giving value to others will make you a popular person with many friends.  Being a man of your word will earn you the respect of others.  Making your body more attractive via the gym will make you feel better and give you more energy.  Living an exciting life is its own reward.

We should remember things we can do every day to keep us in "state."  By "state," I mean that feeling you have when you are on top of the world.  Feeling accomplished.  Below is a list of a few things that, for me, keep me well-rounded and happy.  If I miss one of these, I end up feeling worse.  They are things I do every day that make me feel good about myself.  You should have your own.

1. Do something active (like working out)
2. Do what I had planned to do that day (no laziness/putting it off)
3. Make plans for the next day, possibly the week
4. Clean up after myself (e.g., dishes, taking out trash, etc.)
5. Help someone/talk to someone.
6. Get off the internet.

Those are mine.  When I accomplish all six, I feel good about myself.  If I don't, it tends to snowball and I end up feeling worse down the line.  I basically try to improve everyday.  

[FR] 10/4/11 -- Escalate!

Just got back from a road trip yesterday.  On the trip, there was this cute court reporter.  We had some rapport and I was talking to her.  She lives six hours away, but we were flirting and I should've just gone for the number.  It doesn't matter that I live far away.  I could've had her number, built some rapport, then called her next time I was in town for a possible hookup.  Two lessons: ABG and ABC.  I am succeeding at the first, need to work more on the second.

Set 1 -- The Bartender:  I got off of work late last night.  Didn't feel like going out, but didn't feel like going home either.  I hit the local dive bar.  Ordering my drink, a bartender who opened me a couple of nights ago comes up.  "Why do you look familiar," she says to me.  I tell her she bummed a cigarette from me.  We talk a bit about nonsense and she says, "my husband."  I joke some more with her (she was saying how he steals the cigarettes she hides, I say she's not very good at hiding them), but leave it alone.  Her sister is also a bartender and cute, so I flirt with her a bit, but it's hard.

Set 2 -- The Bitchy Girls:  Outside smoking, some girl comes up.  "Is this the ashtray," she says.  I say, "see the cigarette on the side?"  She says something (I was trying to be CF, but may have missed) and walks inside.  Inside they are ordering drinks next to my spot at the bar.  They are a threeset.  Bartender tells them Kettle One is same price as well and the girl's face lights up.  I say, "That's so cute how your face lights up.  You're so excited.  You just made my night."  I'm trying to enter the group, but it's hard.  They are closed off, in a cliquey type thing, and move off to sit right behind me.  All terrible logistics, so I leave it.  However, I do get from them that they are on a bar crawl for some kickball thing.

Set 3 -- The Good One:  Some gal comes in and orders a drink one seat over from me.  I say something, don't know what, that gets her to sit.  We start talking and get into the topic of cheers'ing.  I think I tell her that cheersing with water is bad luck.  She says it's bad luck not to cheers with eye contact.  I tell her that we'll cheers when she gets her drink.  She does and we go to cheers (over the seat between us).  She spills her drink all over the seat in between and breaks eye contact.  I give her shit and told her she broke eye-contact.  She says we'll cheers again after she cleans it up.  I say, "that's nice of you to clean up.  I respect that."  We cheers again, this time with eye contact.  I make some small-talk rapport-building stuff.  We're talking mostly standard stuff (where you from, etc), but the convo is interesting.  Eventually, we are joined by her three friends (two guys and one girl).  Apparently they are all from the kickball thing.  It's now a group, so I am talking to everyone.  It's fun because I am almost immediately accepted into the group (started talking to the guy closest to me as soon as they walk in) and they stop and listen when I talk.  It's amazing how much I've improved in Social Game.  However, my logistics get all fucked up by the external interrupt, I'm out of money, and I have to go pee.  I pee, then head to the bank without so much as a goodbye.  That was definitely beta and bad behavior.  I should have walked up to the gal I was talking to, said, "listen, I have to go, but I like you and find you really interesting.  Let me get your number so we can hang out."  I did not.  But it's OK!  An AFC makes excuses for why something didn't happen, a player says, "what could I have done better?

Interlude:  Go to the bank, then head to a game store where some of my friends are.  Talk to them, grab one and head back to the bar with an eye towards reopening the set.  However, I have a travel bag with me and they won't let me in.  We head to the bar across the street where I know everyone.  Head to the bar in the back.  Bullshit with the bartender who gives us a deal on the drinks, head to the back and grab a table at the patio.  There was a guy there, but we talk to him and he eventually abandons the table.  One thing to know is that my friend is total AFC and a bit of a dick.  He tells me he's listening to Alpha tapes or something, so I tell him about the natural progression of Choad->Asshole->Alpha Male.  He seems disinterested and skeptical.  Enter set 4.

Set 4 -- The Kuwaiti:   We're sitting talking and this beautiful girl comes up and asks for a light.  See a couple posts back how this is a HUGE IOI.  I give her shit.  I say that I have matches and she can only use ONE, but if she blows it, I won't give her another one.  Some more shittalk and she goes to light it.  She does and I say, "now you have to light mine."  I can't tell you how well I started this set.  After both cigarettes are lit, she walks to the other side of our table, sits and says, "now I'm going to sit down."  OK.  She's with a friend who is doing a little bit of cockblocking.  Unfortunate for me, my wing has no idea what is going on and does not disarm the obstacle.  No excuses, I do it and she eventually bounces, leaving the Kuawait.  Another friend of mine comes over and we are now three dudes and one girl sitting at a table.

Here I made some basic mistakes.  One was that the girl was across from me.  We are vibing, but I should have gone closer.  For instance, when my friend entered the set, I should have offered my seat and moved closer to the babe.  The set ultimately failed because I did not do this and thus could not escalate.  It was too bad too, because she was a really cool and cute girl whom I would've like to got to know.  Another mistake was not listening as much as I should and is something I definitely have to work on.

The set went well for a while.  I am managing external factors, keeping her entertained and my friends are having a good time too, I think.  I am making everyone happy (or trying).  At one point the cockblock comes back and says, "we're leaving."  This is where I get Kuwaiti girl's number, but by now it was too late.

One more note about this night, and it is talking to everyone.  By talking to the bartenders in set one, I immediately got into state from being in a low state.  It carried me to the next set, and that set carried me into the next.  I felt sociable and it showed.  People wanted to be around me.  They could see that I was a valuable male.  Remember to talk to everyone, playa.

Some lessons: 

• ABC.  It's easy to say, but it means to ESCALATE.  I have GOT to work more on this.  It also means to follow your gut.  Which leads to:
• Follow your gut.  I heard that, when you think you should kiss a girl (i.e., you start thinking about it), then it's time to kiss the girl.  Something about our reptilian brains picking up the girl's pheromones of her thinking about us in a sexual way.  Sounds new-agey, but I believe it's right.  If it's too hippy for you, remember this: follow your gut.  e.g., the girl from earlier in the day.  There was a point when I thought, "I should get her number."  She was probably thinking, "he should ask for my number."  By not asking, I am being the opposite of a value-giver and make her doubt herself.  Which leads to...
• Get the number.  Never leave a set with a girl your interested in still in it without having gotten a way to continue the conversation.  You are doing yourself a disservice.  It takes energy and time to open a set, talk to them, create value, and keep them entertained.  Getting contact info is the reward for your investment.  Later, you invest more and get better rewards.

Text Game

Been working on text game lately.  Because my 100 sets (#closes) have been successful, I've had all these numbers.  Now I need to do something with them.  One girl I was texting for a while after a makeout, but we never got a chance to meetup, so it sort of fell off.  Another girl texted randomly one night to meet her out, but I was too tired.  Subsequent attempts to get her out fell flat.  Another gal keeps inviting me to parties, so there's that.

Recently I've been texting three girls.  Two via gchat and one via phone.  The first gchat girl we'll call "Old Friend" ("OF").  I've known OF since before I was single.  Not sure if there was anything there.  Other than her tig ole bitties, I wasn't that attracted to her.  She's since moved away, but visited last year and we had a very near hookup.  We've been flirting ever since.  It's definitely a long-term-game.  Just pings every few weeks with the usual teasing/build rapport, etc.

Girl two is a gal I met from Social Circle game.  We'll call her "South America" ("SA").  She's been a hard nut to crack.  Part of the problem may be showing interest.  I think I need to show her more.  Recently however, she came out to a birthday celebration I had.  I took this as a sign of attraction and pinged her today via gchat.  "Hey there" got a response ("what's up") at which point I established a convo.  I'm packing tonight, so I'm just going to leave the convo hanging until an opportunity to go out together establishes itself.

The final girl I made out with last Saturday night.  We'll call her "Make Out" ("MO").  We texted some on Sunday, but the logistics weren't right and we couldn't meetup (she lives an hour away).  We made tentative plans for this Saturday, so I pinged her with "HEY!"  LOL, I knw, choady but it got an immediate "hey" response.  We texted back and forth a bit (her always replying fast, me always taking time between texts).  Don't know where to go with it, but just trying to keep the lines of communication open so Saturday Day 2 happens.

That's it, just wanted to get this stuff down.  I'm fairly new to text game.  Hopefully I get better as I get more numbers.