Monday, August 8, 2011

On being an alpha male

First thing I'd like to note is that the game is more than about just picking up women.  Although a lot of us come to the game for that very same reason, there is so much more to it than that.  What we, in the field, are teaching newbs and hopefully learning ourselves, is how to become true alpha males.  We want to change our lifestyle.  And much of the time, that is what is needed.

Now, I'd like to explain the term ALPHA.  I don't necessarily mean it in the way you think I do.  A lot of people think that being alpha means always being a leader, doing what you want, not taking shit from anyone.  Sometimes that's true, but that is not exactly what I mean.  What I mean by ALPHA is being a modern alpha male in our society.  A lot of times, when you think of a mPUA, you are thinking of the modern alpha male.  When you are thinking of a natural, you are thinking of a modern alpha male.  When you internalize the game, when the switch "flips," when you realize you are a master, it is because you have become truly ALPHA.  This post will try to define what that means and a little bit on how to get there.

A modern alpha male has a number of unique qualities.  He is:
1. A Value-Giver
2. Confident
3. Fun to be Around
4. Leader of Men
5. Cool

I will now discuss each in turn, going into depth just a bit.  Each of these categories could, and might be in the future, a post of their own.  For now, it's just the basics.

1. Value-Giver - A value-giver is someone who builds others up.  A value-giver is not supplicating, but nor is he condescending.  A value-giver always looks someone in the eyes.  A value-giver always listens.  A value-giver will talk to you no matter who you are: and will smile while he does so, emoting when needed.  A value-giver can give a compliment.  A value giver rarely, if ever, destroys someone emotionally and does not insult someone with malice ("riffing" or "banter" is different and will be discussed later).  A value-giver respects the opinions of others.  He does not knock others down in order to talk to him.  Rather, because he is alpha, he must bring others up to his level, so they can talk as equals.  Most importantly, a value-giver is not an approval-seeker, he is an approval giver.

This topic can go on for some amount of time, and I am sure many of you have questions.  Perhaps this will be a post of its own at some point.

2.  Confidence - A modern alpha male is confident.  He can be anywhere, yet he is completely comfortable with his surroundings.  A modern alpha male has goals, and strives to attain those goals.  He walks down the street with a chest full of air, head held high, chin down, shoulders back, with a steady, even gait.  He walks a little bit faster then everyone else, never avoiding eye contact.  If you see him on the street, you think, now THAT person has somewhere to go, someone to be.

A modern alpha male is completely comfortable wherever he is.  He is never closed off.  His body language is always open, always commanding, and always comfortable.  He takes up a lot of space.  He looks relaxed.  He seems in control of himself and his surroundings.

A modern alpha male is determined.  He knows what he wants and he gets it.  He does not pussyfoot around.  He goes for it.  He is used to other people moving out of his way because his frame is stronger than theirs.  He is unique, and he knows it.  He is uniquely equipped to handle the pressures of life and he does not back down.  He is happy with his job/life and it shows.  People want to be close to him.

3.  Be fun to be around:  A modern alpha male has lots of friends.  He smiles at everyone.  He talks to everyone.  He's a great conversationalist.  People just seem to like him.  They think he's a "great guy."  They're not sure why, it's just something they can't put their finger on.  If you see the modern alpha male at a club, you'll know its him because he'll be surrounded by beautiful women.  They all just want to be closer to him.  Everyone around him is laughing and having a good time.  He makes friends easily because he genuinely likes people.  He's a fun guy.

4.  Leader of Men:  A modern alpha male has many friends.  He has so many friends because he is so much fun to be around.  He is always finding new places to go, inviting friends to the hottest new clubs.  When someone has something fun to do, they call the alpha male.  They want to make sure he's going.  They know the party follows him. 

He leads by example.  He would never tell someone to do something he hasn't tried.  He wouldn't act a way that he doesn't want others to act.  He is confident in his abilities and sees the best in others.  He is the change he wants to see in the world.

5.  He's Cool:  Finally, a modern alpha male is unaffected by his surrounding circumstances.  If something bad happens to him, it's not a big deal.  He shrugs it off and moves on.  This does not mean he is a pushover, merely that he realizes the things he cannot affect should not bother him.  He has his goals in life and follows the path that brings him to those.  Everything outside his power is just that, outside his power.  Why should he fret?

The modern alpha male is not outcome-dependent.  He asks a woman for her phone-number and she says, "I have a boyfriend."  The modern alpha male does not care.  He moves on, or says, "that's great."  The modern alpha male is there for the adventure.  Either you want to hang out with him, or you don't.  It's his world and you're all just living in it. 


I think I'll end each post with a challenge.  maybe that can be this blog's thing.  Today's challenge is to go out there and be confident.  Watch your body language.  Be aware of how you hold yourself.  Make eye contact with other people.  Don't cross your arms or legs, don't put your hands in your pockets, don't hide your hands.  Imagine there is a string from the bottom of your spine all the way up through the crown of your head and that someone is pulling that string straight up.  Breath deeply and confidently.  You are the modern alpha male.  Let it show.

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