Friday, August 26, 2011

What is "Gaming?"

The other day, I made a post on Seddit called "ABG = Always Be Gaming."  There was a little confusion as to what I meant.  Here is what I meant.

Gaming, to me, is not something you do out in the club, or at a bar.  Rather, the aim of the game is for self-transformation.  Some have called it "mansformation."  Others call it "inner game."  At least one news show in the San Francisco area calls pick-up bootcamps "geek class."  So what is "game?"

Game is the development of self.  We all come to the game because we are either crap with women (most likely), or need a boost to get better (less likely).  Through the game, we learn tricks on how to get over our AA and approach women, openers used so we have something to say, routines to stack so we can talk to women, and gambits in order to help us grow the balls to kiss them.  The game teaches us of attraction switches and AMOG techniques.  Basically, what we are learning is how to become "natural."

There is a natural progression in the game.  One goes from using all the tricks in the book, to slowly weening off of the generic ones and making ones for yourself, to never using them again.  We all start off as chodes, then through our mansformation become alpha and learn how to act in everyday life.  What the game does is give us confidence and teaches us how to become better with women and men alike.  Basically, it teaches us to be better social human beings.

What does all this mean?  It means the game does not begin when you walk in the club and does not end when you walk out.  The game is something to be internalized.  Abundance mentality and assuming attraction is stuff that should happen to you all the time.  You shouldn't have to put on a particular shirt or use a particular routine to become "alpha."  Rather, you should already be "alpha" all the time.  By creating a better YOU, you make yourself the player.  And if YOU ARE THE PLAYER, it means you cannot turn him off.  It means you are gaming from the moment you wake up until the moment you fall asleep.  It is not being sleezy, it is simply being the best you possible and making others around you feel great.  That is not something that can end.

"But NLA," they say, "I can't game at work!"  Fuck that noise.  You are allowed to be charming 100% of the time.  You are allowed to give value to everyone you meet.  You are allowed to have great body language every waking minute of your life.  If you are not doing these things always, if you are not making eye contact with and talking to everyone you meet, then you are doing it wrong.  The best way to game is to internalize it and carry it with you through life.  It means you are always practicing.  People who always practice get better quicker than people who never do.  So practice!  Be the game.  ABG.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

8/24/11 Reflection

I've been taking it easy this week.  Went out Saturday and had a great time.  Hit up DTSJ with my friend from work and just killed it at the bar.  #closed two girls, met a burgeoning PUA, made friends with the bouncer, and the bartender bought me a drink.  It was rely a tour du force of PUA.  Of course, I was pretty drunk by the end, but hopefully I can carry some of that momentum with me in the coming days.

Sunday I worked out and hung with a friend, so no gaming.  However, I did use my social skills to get him in for free (when he would usually have to pay $10).  Monday I went to the gym, talked to the girl I like there a little bit, noticed some wayward glances my way, then went home and did laundry.  Tuesday I worked late, went to a bar with cheap food to eat and flirted with the girl who works there, then went to play trivia.  Flirted a little with the bartender at trivia.  Went home even though wings were going out.

For some reason, I really don't feel like going out this week.  Plus I am pretty broke, so that puts a dampen on things.  I am having fun though, and waking up feeling refreshed and recharged.  I am a little down because on Monday I texted one of my number closes and got no response.  Perhaps I will call her this weekend using some of the methods suggested by the ABCs of Attraction guys (who just did a AMA on seddit).

Friday I am thinking about going to SF to sarge with Vince Kelvin.  Have not decided yet, though.  Can probably only go out one day this week.  Saturday I will sell some law books and hopefully make it to the next pay check.

CHECK IN:  Goals are going well.  Although the house is still a mess, I number-closed two girls last week and had tons of solid sets.  I am talking to everyone and being more sociable.  My inner game is making strides and I feel confident and self-fulfilled.  I am improving :)

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The Progress I've Made and a Mini FR from 8/16/11

It's been about three months since I've started regularly going out and gaming.  I first read "The Game" in October, and attempted to apply some openings and routines one night in SF.  It worked on the social group I was with.  After that, I ran the Cube on a hippie girl and my exgirlfriend.  Both hooked, but I made out with neither.  The only other gaming I did was on this bartender at my local bar on Fridays during the winter.  She hooked bad and is into, but I still never number closed.  I am going to destroy that guy.

Since those early beginnings, I have made great strides.  My inner game and posture is at better places now than it has ever been. My alpha-rating, out of a possible 10, is probably somewhere around a 7 or an 8.  I feel good and confident about myself.  I can approach most women I see, and don't get blown out right away very often.  I'm becoming better at seeing situations in the field before they happen.  I don't always know what to do, but I am always on the forums asking for advice on how to better myself.  In other words, my game right now is better than it has ever been.

All that being said, there is still tons of room to improve.  My current mission is number closing and I am getting better at that.  I have not had a same night lay yet.  Some inner game stuff I need to work on.  For example, I still have not cleaned my house or finished unpacking despite me saying I will for months and months.  There is lots of room for improvement and I look forward to these future challenges.

Here's my FR:

Went out with ViperV.  Hit up a club where there were lots of 8s and 9s.  I had BAD AA and did not approach a single one.  Built up some rapport with the bartender though.  She was cute and fun.

We bounced to another bar where the drinks were $2.  I played around with the bartender, but she called me rude.  Eventually she kicked me out of the well I set up shop in.  I couldn't tell if it was a shit test or not, so I just left.  It was stupid.

We went back to Fahrenheit.  We were talking to the bouncer earlier, so we social proofed our way in.  I went to the dance floor, did one move to gain some value, then bounced to the bar.  It was crowded.  There were two fucking hotties (HB9s) at the bar I was too afraid to talk to.  Bouncer came in from outside, so shot the shit with him some more.  Ladies were leaving and I opened them as they walked by.  Tried to convince my wing to open sets.  He was AA'ing hard.  I said "fuck it" and went and sat down and opened a twoset at the bar.  Hard to tell b/c it was dark and they were sitting down, but it looked like HB6 and 7 to me.  I number closed the HB7 (she wouldn't give me her number, I gave her mine and she texted me later in the night), then we left.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I'm not hitting on you, unless I am

Something interesting I noticed Saturday night and wanted to share with you all.  The South Bay crew were strong in SF over the weekend (and we even had special surprise guests).  But that has nothing to do with the observation.  As I was walking through the bar, some guy was standing in the middle, controlling his frame, and said to me, "Hey! How're you doing?"  Big smile.  I said, "Good.  It's a little dead in here tonight."  He said something, I don't know what.  He was really friendly and kind of acting like I knew him, so I asked if we had met the previous night (to see if he's a sedditor).  He said, "No, I was salsa-dancing, so probably not."  I didn't hear him at first and asked to repeat himself, which he did.  It was at this point that it began to dawn on me that this guy was hitting on me (why bring up salsa-dancing, a possible DHV?).  My next thought was to eject as quickly and as nicely as possible.  So I said to him, "welp, I'm off to look for my friends.  Have fun," and I smiled and walked away.  He left soon thereafter.

HERE'S MY OBSERVATION:  **If that guy continued to act nice to me and was friendly without hitting on me, I probably would've stayed in set and talked to him.**  When I go out, I talk to EVERYONE.  I'm just a naturally friendly person and like to make sure everyone's having a good time.  If someone approaches *me*, you can be damn-well sure that I am going to take my time and give that person some value.

But this person did not do that.  He made his intentions known.  When I first started talking to him, I wasn't sure if he was hitting on me or not, so I was fine doing the dance.  However, as soon as his intentions started to become clear, I just wanted to get out of the set.

HOW DO WE USE THIS TO OUR ADVANTAGE?  Two things I got out of this.  ONE: If someone is not attracted to you at the start, you can't come in swinging.  You must build some value, come in at an angle AND NOT HIT ON HER.  If she's not attracted to you and you show interest right away, she's going to know EXACTLY what's going on and want to get out of the situation QUICKLY.  In other words, sometimes we need to hide our motivations.  This is one of the first things they teach in MM, but I never realized it until now or the power of it.  If that guy above had come in, kept smiling and NOT TRIED TO PICK ME UP, I totally would have talked to him.  At some point he would have had to try and escalate, but it was too soon.

This is what is meant by "sweeping girls off their feet."  You come in talking about some totally random shit.  Now, MAKE SURE YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.  So you come in and ask her how she's doing tonight, whatever.  You LISTEN.  You respond.  You LAUGH.  You make sure she's laughing.  You have a good time.  YOU'RE NOT HITTING ON HER.  That comes later.  You're talking, she's laughing, you're making fun of other people in the bar, guessing their jobs.  I don't know what you guys talk about in the field.  Whatever you do, she's enjoying herself.  As you point something out, you put your arm around her and go, "Look over there."  Oh look, YOU JUST INITIATED KINO and it was COMPLETELY NORMAL.  Next time you say something you touch her arm for emphasis.  It's not weird, because YOU'RE NOT HITTING ON HER.  You're having a grand old time talking to her, she's really enjoying talking to you.  As you look into each other's eyes, something begins happening.  You're moving closer and she' not  entirely sure why.  She doesn't care though, because she TRUSTS you.  Maybe you said something earlier about how you care for stray dogs on your off day, or some bullshit thing you do to get girls to like you.  IT'S OK!  She likes you!  Look at her laughing!  You slow down your voice.  You smooth it out.  You change your eye contact to gazing.  You...introduce....pauses.  You're moving in.  You kiss her.

OK, that's one.  If there's attraction in the beginning, throw all this out the window.  If you are the life of the party, a high value male that she is checking out across the room BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE IN YOUR FRAME, then you're already in.  Maybe you wave or point at her to gauge her interest level first.  Rock over there and TALK TO HER.  BE NORMAL.  Don't use a line.  All you have to do is not mess up and you're good.  You slow down your voice.  Smooth it out.  Introduce pauses.  Get closer.  Then you KISS HER.  That's it, gents.

TWO: One of the best openers is one in which you assume a connection from the start.  "Hey! How's it going."  Or, "Hey!  How've you been."  Or, "Hey!  What's up?"  Bam, you're in a conversation.

Of course, the game is much easier learned than it is implemented, but I hope this observation and these notes help you boys in the field tonight.

**TL:DR**Gauge her interest level first.  If you feel that attraction is low, don't hit on her.  Just talk to her, get her laughing and have fun.  If she's a nice person, she will WANT to talk to you and if you're interesting she will want to STAY talking to you.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

8/11/11 Journal

Went out last night with the boss.  He is an AMOG and usually makes a bad wing, but the dude can talk to people and he buys the beers.  We get to the bar and there's no where to sit.  We stand outside for a minute, then see two seats at the very end of the bar.  We go down there and sit.  There is a really cute Asian girl sitting there working with a calendar.  I say, "No homework at the bar."  She smiles and says she's not doing homework, but making a schedule.  I ask her for Monday off.  We riff some and my boss chimes in.  Come to find out she's a teacher.

So this leads into a conversation thread from my boss, just talking.  I add in stuff every so often.  She asks what we do and I say "lighter repairmen."  She gives me a funny look.  My boss says, "we're attorneys."  She's hooked.  After this point I go C-F.  I cold read her as an English teacher, I riff on her a little bit.  But when it's time to go, I don't number close.  Must improve that.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

8/10/11 Journal Entry

Went out sarging last night with somebody from the Seddit boards.  Had a good time, opened quite a few sets.  One thing I noticed is that I do not escalate fast enough, or enough in general.  I thought my sticking point was number closing, but it seems to actually be escalation.  Also, I want to learn advanced game tactics, like how to reopen a set, when to build attraction again or just go into seduction, etc.

Finally, something funny happened last night.  I was reopening a girl I had opened at the bar.  My wing had made me go in because I did not get her number.  So I was attempting to # close her and some alpha came over and cavemanned her off.  It was a great lesson.  Talk all you want, but actions speak louder than words.  That's when I realized: ESCALATE.


Today's challenge: Escalate until you kiss close or get blown out.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Setting Goals and Having Value as a Man

Been listening to the Pickup Podcast.  Really been enjoying it.  Currently listening to Episode 9 where they interview a PUA named "Xuma."  He, like me, believes that fixing the inner game should be first priority.  He gives the following exercise:  Write down a list of your qualities.  Write it as if it was a sticker on a car, and you are the car.  What would it be selling?  What is listed as the selling points?  What are you good at?  What is your asking price in terms of what you want out of a relationship?  Here's mine.

Qualities:  Smart, funny, fast learner, can excel at things really quickly, if I put my mind to it, I can accomplish most anything.  I can make people feel good.  I am a good writer.  I excel at poetry and can even sing.  I can act.  I can emote.  I have love and give it freely.  I have compassion.  I am deeply religious, but not in a fundamentalist kind of way.  I am, for the most part, self-motivated and self-sustaining.  I am interesting.

Sticker price: Must be beautiful.  Must have a good heart.  Must want kids eventually.  Must be a woman, but also a little girl.  Must cook and clean.  I can cook too, but she should know how and cook my favorite dishes.  Must be nice and have a good sense of humor.  Must make me laugh.  Intelligence would be nice.  Honesty too.  Must be understanding.  And sweet.  She should be sweet.

That's it.  Try it yourself and make your own.

Journal Entry: 8/8/11

One thing I want to do with this blog, as well as regular updates and lessons, is to keep a journal on my current progress.  Here is today's entry.

I've noticed now that I've been focusing on body language and eye contact that people on the street are respecting me.  Men move out of the way to let me by.  Women check me out and seem genuinely disappointed that I did not open them.  My mini-goal to focus on in the coming weeks will be to open these women who check me out on the streets.  It doesn't matter what I say, I just want to check them out.  Gauge their interest.

Another thing this has taught me is how important confidence is and how much it can effect your state.  If your body language is solid, everything else falls into place.  If you walk down the street in a confident manner and smile at everyone you meet, you're going to start to feel better about yourself.  It's a great way to start the day.  As a modern alpha male, I am a value-giver.  I make people's days everyday.  They are happy to have me in the world, and I am happy to be in it.  And it shows.

On being an alpha male

First thing I'd like to note is that the game is more than about just picking up women.  Although a lot of us come to the game for that very same reason, there is so much more to it than that.  What we, in the field, are teaching newbs and hopefully learning ourselves, is how to become true alpha males.  We want to change our lifestyle.  And much of the time, that is what is needed.

Now, I'd like to explain the term ALPHA.  I don't necessarily mean it in the way you think I do.  A lot of people think that being alpha means always being a leader, doing what you want, not taking shit from anyone.  Sometimes that's true, but that is not exactly what I mean.  What I mean by ALPHA is being a modern alpha male in our society.  A lot of times, when you think of a mPUA, you are thinking of the modern alpha male.  When you are thinking of a natural, you are thinking of a modern alpha male.  When you internalize the game, when the switch "flips," when you realize you are a master, it is because you have become truly ALPHA.  This post will try to define what that means and a little bit on how to get there.

A modern alpha male has a number of unique qualities.  He is:
1. A Value-Giver
2. Confident
3. Fun to be Around
4. Leader of Men
5. Cool

I will now discuss each in turn, going into depth just a bit.  Each of these categories could, and might be in the future, a post of their own.  For now, it's just the basics.

1. Value-Giver - A value-giver is someone who builds others up.  A value-giver is not supplicating, but nor is he condescending.  A value-giver always looks someone in the eyes.  A value-giver always listens.  A value-giver will talk to you no matter who you are: and will smile while he does so, emoting when needed.  A value-giver can give a compliment.  A value giver rarely, if ever, destroys someone emotionally and does not insult someone with malice ("riffing" or "banter" is different and will be discussed later).  A value-giver respects the opinions of others.  He does not knock others down in order to talk to him.  Rather, because he is alpha, he must bring others up to his level, so they can talk as equals.  Most importantly, a value-giver is not an approval-seeker, he is an approval giver.

This topic can go on for some amount of time, and I am sure many of you have questions.  Perhaps this will be a post of its own at some point.

2.  Confidence - A modern alpha male is confident.  He can be anywhere, yet he is completely comfortable with his surroundings.  A modern alpha male has goals, and strives to attain those goals.  He walks down the street with a chest full of air, head held high, chin down, shoulders back, with a steady, even gait.  He walks a little bit faster then everyone else, never avoiding eye contact.  If you see him on the street, you think, now THAT person has somewhere to go, someone to be.

A modern alpha male is completely comfortable wherever he is.  He is never closed off.  His body language is always open, always commanding, and always comfortable.  He takes up a lot of space.  He looks relaxed.  He seems in control of himself and his surroundings.

A modern alpha male is determined.  He knows what he wants and he gets it.  He does not pussyfoot around.  He goes for it.  He is used to other people moving out of his way because his frame is stronger than theirs.  He is unique, and he knows it.  He is uniquely equipped to handle the pressures of life and he does not back down.  He is happy with his job/life and it shows.  People want to be close to him.

3.  Be fun to be around:  A modern alpha male has lots of friends.  He smiles at everyone.  He talks to everyone.  He's a great conversationalist.  People just seem to like him.  They think he's a "great guy."  They're not sure why, it's just something they can't put their finger on.  If you see the modern alpha male at a club, you'll know its him because he'll be surrounded by beautiful women.  They all just want to be closer to him.  Everyone around him is laughing and having a good time.  He makes friends easily because he genuinely likes people.  He's a fun guy.

4.  Leader of Men:  A modern alpha male has many friends.  He has so many friends because he is so much fun to be around.  He is always finding new places to go, inviting friends to the hottest new clubs.  When someone has something fun to do, they call the alpha male.  They want to make sure he's going.  They know the party follows him. 

He leads by example.  He would never tell someone to do something he hasn't tried.  He wouldn't act a way that he doesn't want others to act.  He is confident in his abilities and sees the best in others.  He is the change he wants to see in the world.

5.  He's Cool:  Finally, a modern alpha male is unaffected by his surrounding circumstances.  If something bad happens to him, it's not a big deal.  He shrugs it off and moves on.  This does not mean he is a pushover, merely that he realizes the things he cannot affect should not bother him.  He has his goals in life and follows the path that brings him to those.  Everything outside his power is just that, outside his power.  Why should he fret?

The modern alpha male is not outcome-dependent.  He asks a woman for her phone-number and she says, "I have a boyfriend."  The modern alpha male does not care.  He moves on, or says, "that's great."  The modern alpha male is there for the adventure.  Either you want to hang out with him, or you don't.  It's his world and you're all just living in it. 


I think I'll end each post with a challenge.  maybe that can be this blog's thing.  Today's challenge is to go out there and be confident.  Watch your body language.  Be aware of how you hold yourself.  Make eye contact with other people.  Don't cross your arms or legs, don't put your hands in your pockets, don't hide your hands.  Imagine there is a string from the bottom of your spine all the way up through the crown of your head and that someone is pulling that string straight up.  Breath deeply and confidently.  You are the modern alpha male.  Let it show.

First Post

Welcome.  This is the first post in hopefully what will become a regularly updated blog.  This blog will document the improvements I make in my game as I develop my skills and learn more theories.  I will be updating regularly with thoughts, ramblings, field reports, notes and tips.  I hope that those of you reading this will learn from my mistakes and become better yourselves. 

This blog will be supplemented by my posts made on Seddit (  I will attempt to cross-post the important FRs here.  For anybody just starting out in the game, head on over there and check out the sidebar.  There's a ton of helpful information to be found, and even a glossary.  For instance, you can find out that "FR" means "field report."

Even if you are not new to the game, hopefully you can learn something from this blog.  You might see tips/routines/openers that you have never thought of.  In my FRs, you might see a situation that has never happened to you before, preparing you better for next time if it ever does happen to you.  Hopefully eventually we will get some guest-bloggers in here.  If you are interested in guest blogging, please email me.

Without further ado, let's get started.