Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Don't Limit Yourself to What You Read

(x-post from Seddit).

There is a ton of material out there for guys looking to improve their game.  In fact, if your willing to part with your money, there are people more than willing to help you out with that and go out and wing with you for your trouble.  However, all the good stuff has already been written or is being written (check out /r/seduction link in sidebar for a great resource).  Somebody mentioned once that Tyler Durden said if a guy is really ready to improve, then he will go out and read everything he can about seduction from every source.  I highly recommend this advice.  Moreover, it is not just enough to read.  For every three hours you spend reading, you should be spending at least one in the field.  The only real improvements you will see is from practice.  But, there is also a third source of knowledge and that is oral communication.  There are tons of people in your life right now who can help you on your journey to becoming a better man.  It is your job to find these people and (this is the hard part) ask them for advice.  Here are a few quick examples:

Best Friend:  No one knows you like your best friend does.  He's seen you at your best and seen you at your worst.  He's seen you when you come home drunk crying over a girl and he's seen you elated from a first kiss with a girl you think you might like.  He is the perfect person to ask about what he perceives are your strengths and weaknesses.  The conversation can go something like this:  "I've been seeking to improve my interactions with women.  I'm sick of just lucking into getting laid and want to become better.  What have you seen that is my greatest strengths when talking to women?  What would you say I can improve on most?"  If your friend is truly your friend, you will get some great insight as to how others perceive you.

Your mom. No joke. I totally forgot about how good my mom is at giving dating advice. One of the best words of wisdom I ever got was "if a girl will hold your hand, she will kiss you." Another time, I had no idea how to move forward with this girl I was into. Sure, I'm good at picking up girls in bars and stuff, but if I really like a girl, I am at a loss. Asked my mom and she said, "ask her out. If she says, 'like a date?,' say, 'Yeah, it's not an engagement. Just a date.'" Worked like a charm, now dating the girl. Ask your mom, she might surprise you.

Natural friend. We all have that friend who just seems to be good with women like he doesn't even have to try. Ask him about it. You can be like, "hey dude. What do you do? I see you're pretty good at talking to women and I have no idea what to do." Sometimes you'll get an "I don't really know," but most of the time you'll get some good advice. People love talking about themselves and what they are good at.

Your best girl friend. Probably gives terrible seduction advice, but if she has any fashion sense, she'd be happy to go through your closet and pick out the clothes that best suit you and would even be willing to go out shopping with you and get you looking your best.

Your wings/local lair. This one is probably obvious, but get out there with some like-minded individuals and ask them if they see anything good/bad you are doing. Usually a good idea to hit up pizza/mexican after the clubs close and debrief the night.

TL;DR Don't limit yourself to only what's on here. Make it your mission in life to become a better man and ask those around you for help in doing so.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Don't Talk About Her Appearance

Got some good women advice from a woman last night.  Strange, I know.  I should explain that comment.  Women are TERRIBLE at giving dating/pickup advice.  Of course there are exceptions.  My mom, for instance, gives great fucking advice.  Shit she says shit that I use to this day.  For instance, this gem is from her:  If a girl will let you hold her hand, she will let you kiss her.  Works every.  Fucking.  Time.

Anyway, I was talking to a lady friend and she was bitch and moaning because some guys were giving her shit for the way she was dressed.  She says to me, "Why do guys always talk about that shit?  I hear about it every fucking day.  Every man on the street, in the store, everyone feels like they need to say something about my appears.  'Hey, nice shoes,' or, 'you look good today.'  It's so fucking annoying."  And she's right.

If you remember back to Mystery, he told you to never compliment a girl.  This is basically an offshoot of that.  Complimenting a girl is fine.  One of my favorite openers is, "hey.  I like your style!"  However, stay away from complimenting her on the way she looks.  Again, it comes with a caveat.  Some guys get work with the line, "I saw you from over there and you are so cute that I just had to come over here and talk to you."  But for the most part, stay away.

Don't talk about a girl's hair, don't ask about her tattoos, don't stare at her boobs, don't point out her birthmark.  Just don't.  Try to find out if the girl is cool enough to hang out with you.  After that is accomplished, then and only then, you can start talking about superficial shit like her giant fucking tits or her ugly ass tattoo.  But if you are new, just stay the fuck away from outward appearance comments.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

A Word on Text Game -- With review of basics

I've been doing a bunch of texting lately.  I've pretty much conquered my 100 set challenge re: getting numbers (see sidebar for link), so now it's time to do something with those numbers.  Getting sick of all the dead phone numbers in my phone, I'm making a conscious effort to sober text all of the new numbers I get.  I generally get good results (whereas, when I was mostly drunk texting, I'd tend to fuck it up somehow).  Here are some basics:

1.  Always text this within one hour of getting a girl's phone number:  "Hey [name].  It was great to meet you!  Save this phone number because it will be the most important one you'll ever get.  - [NLA]."  Feel free to change it up, but the basic framework is:  salutation ("hey [name]"); cocky-funny statement ("don't go hitting on too many other guys tonight ;)") / inside joke; your name.  That's it.  90% of the time, it works every fucking time.  It also sets you up for your next text because she's not wondering who the fuck it is.

2.  Text or call the next day.  ALWAYS text or call the next day.  Two things here.  1.  You don't want to wait too long because you will lose her; 2.  You want her to get used to texting with you.

3.  Make sure you sexualize and go for the date quickly.  Every text does not have to be sexual, but you've really got to throw it in there every so often because you don't want her thinking you are just another friendly guy.  You are a sexual being.

4.  General tips:  Don't text too much (generally, stay away from two texts in a row); if you sent a question, by golly wait for a response before you text her again!; usually want to wait at least the amount of time she takes to respond to you before texting her back (e.g., she takes 30 mins to text you back, you text her 40 mins after that); don't be too available / quick to respond.  You can respond quickly sometimes, but don't make a habit of it.  You want to be a mystery and seem busy.  Try to end your texts on a question / statement that needs a response.  Your goal is to 1. keep the communication going and 2. setup the day 2.  That's it.

As for how to get the girl's number, here's my go to, can't miss, works every time technique (and I'm sure there are many more out there).  After talking for a bit and building some rapport I'll say, "You seem really cool.  We should hang out sometime."  She'll say, "cool"  or "yeah!"  I say, "how can we make that happen?"  She says, "I can give you my number..."  I pull out my phone, open new contact page and put it into her hand.  I also ask for the last name "so I can facebook stalk you."  Lol, this last one is a new line, but getting the last name will decrease your flake rates.

Couple other ways to do it:

-  "You're cool.  Gimme your number."  Put your phone in the girl's hand.

-  Seed the day 2.  When you are qualifying her, ask a question that seeds day two like, "do you eat sushi?" or "do you sing karaoke?"  If she says "yes!" then I'll say, "awesome! Let's go this weekend."  Her: "ok."  Put your phone in her hand.  This one decreases flake rates exponentially.

Post questions in the comments.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

FR and Text Message Game

Went out last night with a wing from the BAS boards.  Was at the bar with boss and a colleague, but no fucks were given.  Flirt with the bartender whose number I have until my friend arrives.  As soon as he sits down he opens a twoset of girls to my left (the only girls in the place, basically.  But both real cute).  I hadn't even noticed them because I was busy talking to my bartender friend, colleagues, etc.  But my wing goes right in and hooks.  I ignore for a bit, but then jump in the set when I can.  His target is real cute and the other chick has nice, big tits.  Cool.  I start talking to her (logistics are HB Tits, HB Blonde, Wing, Me lined up like ducks at the bar) across the other two and connect a bit.  Sometimes I bring it back to blonde, sometimes talk just to my wing.  We give them shit at times, and iso at times.  At one point, HB tits asks me a question that I can either blow off, or will take some time to answer.  I had been thinking that I needed to change the dynamics and this was the chance, so I said, "Hold on.  I have to come over there and tell you."  Picked up my beer and food, walked over to her like a boss, sat down and started telling her my story.  After that it was natural.  Initiate kino, ramp up buying pressure, seed next date, qualify the shit outta her, say, "we should hang out sometime . . ."  yadda, yadda.  Excused myself to go back and talk to my colleagues.

Coupla texts:

As for text message game, tried texting the bartender last night, but she is so fucking BORING to text.  It really went nowhere.  We were having more fun in the bar.  Maybe she's just an "in person" chick.

Texted HB tits while still at the bar.  "Save this number, it's the most important number you'll ever get."  She texted a sarcastic "Who is this?"  At which point I looked up, saw her smiling, and flipped her the fuck off.  lol. She was just kidding around and you could tell it was the right text to send.  HB Blonde says, "that was cheeeeeeesy.  But I like it." :)  Been texting HB tits all day ramping up temp and sexual interest.  Probably take her out next wk sometime.

Texting some girl who lives down South.  Met her in SF and keeping interest alive until she visits.  There was definite interest when we met on both sides.  We've been roll playing a lot and I am attempting to ramp up sexual interest.  We'll see how it goes, but as she is so far away, it is low risk, high reward.

The chick from a post or two again who invited me to karaoke and I have been texting about her lip ring.  Hadn't texted in a few days, but texted her today and got an almost instantaneous response.  Her last response was "Hope all is great!"  No idea wtf that is supposed to mean.

I'll be trying to work on my text game more as I've had way too many dead leads (where I just don't text at all).  We'll see how it goes.

Honesty -- 4/25/12

Been going out fairly consistently lately.  In fact, these past few months I've been going out so much that my bank account is just about nil.  I am going to begin saving more, and reel back how much I go out during the week.  I am also cutting back on drinking as I found I have better interactions with people when I do so.

Sat and Sunday were spent with new girl.  I am having so much fun with this girl, that I don't even care if my numbers are falling.  It's good to date someone with whom I have built a genuine connection and with whom I actually like, not just find attractive.  I was listening to an interview with Richard La Ruina, a trainer from UK.  He talks about upping the quality of girls rather than the quantity and how he qualifies the women he talks to before picking them up.  For instance, he'll go for the makeout fairly quickly.  If she makes out, he realizes it is not the girl for him.  I like this form of pickup much more than the ONS version.  To me, it is more important to make deep, emotional connections with a woman than to go for the quick and easy lay.  IMO it makes the sex better, but all guys are different.

OK, I am getting a little off topic here.  Honesty.  I wanted to talk about honesty.  The importance of honesty.  And this all goes back to what I was talking about above with qualifying girls to find quality women.  A lot of new players go out into the field with all of these tricks and games they've acquired from reading the materials.  However, the most important thing a player can do is accept himself for who he is and be completely honest with the girl he is talking to.  If you begin a relationship with lies, it will never go anywhere meaningful.  It is essentially a house built on a foundation of straw.

So how do we develop honesty?  First we have to be honest with ourselves.  We have to decide what our goals are in life and what we are looking to get out of pickup.  For me, what I want out of pickup is to find a quality woman.  I will talk about quality in another post and how it changes for every man and how one man's quality woman is another man's ONS, but that is my goal.  It is nice to have a harem, it is nice to flirt with girls, I still love the pickup.  But that is my goal: to find quality women.  Also, the more I go out and practice, the better I get at picking up women so that when I do find quality women, I don't blow it in the first ten minutes.

Being honest with yourself also means following your goals and seeing them through to the end.  If that means going to the gym every day, do it.  If it means talking to strangers, do it.  Do you want to get better at your job?  Start working on it now!  When we are honest with ourselves, we have to listen to ourselves and strive to achieve our goals.  Otherwise we are not being completely honest.

To become honest with yourself, you must be confident in your decisions.  That is why following your goals is so important.  If a girl asks you what you do and you don't like your job, she is going to smell that right away.  Do you think that's attractive?  It's not.  If a girl asks you what you do in your free time and your only honest answer is "play video games," are you happy with that choice?  If you are, then she has no other option but to accept you.  If you are not happy with your choice, she will sniff it out within minutes and think "what a dork," etc.  This will be repeated again and again:  It does not matter what you say.  As long as you are honest, confident and congruent, you can get away with anything.

Once we are honest with ourselves, we can be honest with others.  Here's a big secret.  Do you know what the best way to get a woman to completely open up to you is?  The best way to get a woman to share something with you she hasn't told anyone else?  It is to offer that information first.  If you tell a woman something that ten years ago you would not have told anyone, and you say it with confidence, she won't judge you.  Read that again fellas.  She will not judge you.  In fact, she will be impressed that you had the cajones to say anything like that.

Here's an example.  I once told a woman about the most scandalous thing I've ever done: almost slept with a married woman while my girlfriend was asleep elsewhere.  I said it with complete honesty and a complete lack of shame.  You know what she did?  Listen.  Later she told me about the most scandalous thing she had ever done.  Guys, when you share stuff like that with a woman, and she stares that stuff with you, you develop a bond.  She invests in you.  These are the types of relationships you should strive for.

A quick aside:  This is powerful NLP-like shit.  Don't do this for your one night lays unless you make it clear upfront what you are looking for.  Women who have been around the block will be guarded, but younger girls will not and might get their heart broke after "opening up to you" only to never hear from you again.  That's also how to get psycho girls after you.  Be careful.

Honesty should permeate everything you do.  When I talk to a girl, I like to find out what she expects out of a relationship.  Best way to do that is to ask her:  What do you look for in the men you date?  What kind of relationships do you have?  What kind of relationships do you want?  What's your ideal man like?  You will only get the true and real answers from her if you are honest with her in return.  For instance, she may balk when you ask that question.  You need simply say, "for instance, I am looking for a woman with whom I can grow as a person and help her to grow.  I am looking for a partner where we will never hold each other back and only push each other forward.  I want us both to reach our goals, then look back on our achievements and hold hands while sipping lemonade on a porch."  Again, you will get her investing in you.

When you share yourself with a woman, when you allow her to peer into your soul, you are giving her a gift.  You are giving her the gift of you.  You are also allowing a woman to share herself with you.  How many guys does a woman meet at a bar allow her to talk about her deepest, darkest fantasies.  How many guys do you think she has actually told her deepest, darkest fantasies to?  As Erik Von Markovik once said, PUAs are the exception.  We do not do what everyone else does and so are successful.

One more thing about this.  This is also why role-play is so important.  Not only is it fun (and girls FUCKING LOVE FUN.  OK, tangent.  Seriously, girls fucking love fun.  Girls don't want a dour guy like Don Draper.  OK, they do.  But when it comes time to actually go out on a date?  They want Russel Fucking Brand.  They want danger.  They want excitement.  They want to laugh.  Playing aloof only gets you so far.  Remember the words of Cyndi Lauper:  Girls just want to have fun), but it allows you to share your fantasies with a girl and allows her to share hers with you.  Example:  "Let's get married.  We'll fly to Aruba and have the ceremony on the beach.  We can only invite three people though.  Who are you bringing?"  Or, "I know this is sudden, but we need to move in together RIGHT NOW.  Should we take your apartment or mine?"  Etc, etc.  Use your fucking imagination.

When you are honest -- honest with yourself, honest with your intentions, honest with the world -- you are congruent.  It is hard to explaining congruency, but it is essentially the state of complete honesty with who you are in that moment in time and the honesty you have about what you are doing right then.  For instance, if you are happy, you smile.  If you don't find something funny, you don't laugh.  If you feel like kissing a girl, you kiss her.  Honesty.

Finally, be honest in your openers.  Guys, PLEASE, be honest with your openers.  You have GOT to be congruent when you go and talk to a women or else you are DOA.  You can't go up and ask if they've seen the fight outside.  Not only have they heard it before, but it's dumb and not congruent with who you are.  Try, "you are so cute, so I had to come talk to you," or, "you girls look like fun, I'm [name]" or even "Hi.  Whatcha got there?"  It really doesn't matter what you say.  Just be honest with yourself, the situation, and her.  It'll work itself out.

That's it guys.  Have fun out there.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

4/21/12 Ruminations

There are three main things holding me back from where I want to be with my social life right now.  The first is funds.  Going out every night is expensive.  Taking chicks on dates is expensive.  Recently, I've cut back on my alcohol intake and started with soda water which has helped my wallet out.  It's still an expensive habit to keep up with.

The second thing is time.  On weeknights, if I want to hit the gym and eat, I don't get out until 9:30/10.  And that leaves room for nothing else, so laundry, housekeeping, dishes etc. tend to fall by the wayside during the week.  Moreover, I am going to have to start studying soon which will put the kibosh on my weekday game for the timebeing.

The third thing messing with my game is the alcohol.  Going out every night and drinking like a fish takes its toll. It just happens to be the nature of the game where you go out, meet with buddies, and you're at a bar so you start to drink.  At the top I talked about starting with soda water as a way of conserving funds.  I think that maybe that may help with this as well.  Sober game is a different game but can still be played.  However, I find it difficult to relate well to drunken girls when I am sober (and they are the kind of girls you find out at the bars at 10-12 on a weekday night).

Mini-FR:  Went out Wednesday.  Hit the bar with a coworker after work to watch some sports.  He left early, but two of my lady friends came out to meet me.  I seeded the "Flaming Dr. Pepper" shots next door and headed over to check it out.  Took the shot and came back to the bar.  Sat down and noticed two HBs to my right.  Open them right the fuck up.  Opener was something like, "Did you see those Flaming Dr. Pepper shots?"  Transition into, "what are you drinking?"  Etc.  Find out that they are best friends since grade school or something.  Talk about the plan for tomorrow night.  The one closest to me (whom I've been talking to most for logistical reasons) tells me she is going to sing karaoke the next night.  I number close her and say that maybe I'll see her tomorrow.  Text her later that night with "maybe I'll come out to karaoke tomorrow sexy."  Her response: "maybe you should."  Didn't end up going to karaoke because beer, but I texted her and she wasn't going either due to a lip piercing.  Anyone, I told her we'd hang out sometime in the future.

Last night I went out with a few buds from the forums.  I was on the soda water plan early and decided to make it an early night.  The most notable set was when PUA Jason and AFC friend went to go hit on girls.  They walked over to a twoset of two good-looking girls I had seen earlier and hovered behind them.  I watched about as much as I could stand of that and went over to open their asses up.  "Heyyyyy!" I said, cheersing their glasses.  The one girl wouldn't cheers me.  I am unaffected and plow on.  Ask what they're drinking (such a choad, right?!).  HB blonde (on my left.  HB Brunette I'm ignoring is on my right) says "Sprite."  Lol.  I look appalled.  She says "imported."  I give her shit for this.  Maybe a little mock impressed.  I tell her I'm drinking cola.  ROYAL cola, so it's classy.  We riff on this for a bit.  She says she's a pickup sticks champion and brings her friend into the convo as a tether ball champion.  I turn to the friend and talk to her for a bit.  The conversation isn't really going anywhere, and if I wanted to continue the set, it would take another ten minutes or so.  I see my wings lurking to the right, so I cheers them both (this time HB Blonde cheers's me) and exit the set.

I'm going to be working on sober game a lot more.  I am tired of getting drunk every night and having interactions I don't remember.  I was talking to one of my wings last night and he told me that I had some HB blonde all over my junk on Wednesday night, grabbing my ass and shit.  I didn't remember a bit of it.  Moreover, I had some random person's number in my phonebook whom I had no fucking clue who it was.  Possibly that blonde.  Later that night, apparently we were at a Mexican food place.  I don't remember shit about that, but remembered tasting it the next morning and thinking, "when the fuck did I get Mexican?!"

For the future, I'd like to continue working on sober game and lessening my alcohol intake.  I'd also like to focus on developing a deep rapport with women.  I've recently met a woman with whom I've developed a deep connection.  The difference between waking up next to a woman you care about and some random hookup is tenfold, and I much prefer the latter.  Moreover, I have so many damn phone numbers in my book, I have no fucking clue what to do with them all.  Some are stale, some I have no interest in, some I have no idea who the fuck they are, others I'd like to take out but have no gd money.  I think what I'll try to do is work on the numbers I have by playing some text game.  If they are dead numbers anyway, just sitting in my phone, then I have nothing to lose.

Finally, I've been clawing my way out of the friendzone with this one girl.  Update/tips for that to come.

Monday, April 16, 2012

About to head out for the night, but wanted to get something down

It's been a while since I last posted, so a quick update and an empty promise to update again in the vague future.

1.  Been seeing a girl I like pretty consistently.  Dunno if it's oneitis, but I dig this chick.  She seems to dig me too.  We're having a great time together.  See where it goes.

2.  Mini-breakthrough.  Think I'm done with the 100sets number challenge.  New challenge is to make excellent connections with girls.  e.g., instead of getting the number, go for the comfort close while still maintaining attraction.  I've done this at times and it has led to the least amount of flake rates.  Will try it more consistently out in the field.

Monday, March 26, 2012

A word on canned material

I consistently see the question, "should I use canned material?"  Or new guys will ask me what my opener is, or what I think about MM.  Here's my take:  it's a great beginner's tool.  The first time I ever used this shit in the field, I used shit right out of The Game.  "You guys see the fight outside?"  "Who lies more?"  Etc.  Some sets went well, some did not.  What's important though, is that this material gave me the confidence to approach.  And approach I did.  However, I found that when I ran out of material, the conversation became a little stilted.  I asked myself "am I in C3 or A1?"  "Should I be DHV'ing right now?  Am I showing too much interest?"  Eventually, when I tried to expand on the canned openers into the other material, my head got too crowded and my interactions became too stilted.

It wasn't until I went out with the BAS crew that I realized you don't need openers, DHV stories, or any of that other crap.  You just need to go up to girls, with confidence, and start talking.  It helps if you are a good communicator, and imho, a compliment is better than a neg any day of the week.  That doesn't mean you shouldn't be teasing, teasing is flirting.

So what's my stance on canned material?  Great to use the openers when first going out.  It gets you out of your head and into the mode where you are constantly opening sets and talking to women.  However, I would suggest you not become too dependent on the canned openers, as I believe you can only go so far with them. I am not a Mystery or MM hater in any sense of the word.  I just think that there is a natural progression from MM to natural game.

BONUS:  FR from 3/23/12

Will make it short.  Went out with a newbie.  First set we were in I opened while I was ordering my drink.  Told the gal she looked like a pinup model ("hope I'm not being too forward, but....").  She was duly impressed.  Her friend came over and introduced me.  I was in.  Sister came in and I am very solidly in the group.  So much so that my wing, who has little to no experience, was able to hold a conversation well enough for me to excuse myself and leave the restroom.  At one point, they even offered me a shot of rum from out of the pint of rum they smuggled into the bar, lol.

Logistics were off because my A1 target was engaged (this was her makeup bachelorette party) and my A2 target was isolated while A3 chatted my fucking ear off.  At one point I just stopped A3, turned to A2 and said, "I find you really attractive and I'd love to take you out sometime.  Give me your number so we can make that happen."  Hand her my phone.  She waffles but A1 takes it and says, "I'll give you her number."  :) get in with the friends.  Stayed in set after number close, then bounce.

At the next spot I was in the zone opening sets left and right.  Talking to this real cutie who was ultra into me.  "We should totally hang out sometime."  Her:  "Yeah."  Me:  How do we do that?  Her:  I could take your number.  Me:  No.  Her: OK, I'll give you mine.  LOL.  Only problem is she has a 4 y/o kid, so dunno if I'm gonna hit it.

Went for a few k-closes and, while not getting blown out, they did not stick.  My recent goal has been to ESCALATE, so I'm glad I'm going for it.

Oh.  And later in the night I got into a fight :)


Thursday, March 22, 2012

3/22/12 Musings

I've been gaming a girl whom I have feelings for (call her Jezabel).  It's a strange thing to game a girl whom I actually like as a person.  I am used to gaming random chicks in bars who are into me.  It's a completely new game.  Some thoughts on gaming girls you like:

1.  Have no fear of the friend zone.  "Friend zones" are a high school thing, imho.  As you get older (and as a consequence, game older women), women you meet will want to "get to know you better" (e.g., not just fuck).  It's fine to build a woman's comfort level with you.  Just remain a sexual being and she'll know you're not just "the friend" type.

2.  It's fun, exciting, and scary gaming a girl you like.  When I game in clubs, I have almost no fear of approaching because I don't care what the outcome is.  I've never seen the girl before and I might not ever again.  But with a gal I like, it's a new game.  I think "don't mess this up" and get into my head a lot more.  It's not necessarily a bad thing because I think about it a lot more and the interaction is on-a-whole better.

3.  All that said, I've got to make a move, but I've been a pussy.  It's easy kissing girls you've just met.  It's tougher when you've developed a friendship with a woman.

I'll keep you guys up to date.  In the meantime, here's a mini FR from last night.

Hit up happy hour b/c I was too sore to go to gym and needed to unwind.  Sent out some texts, but it looked like I was riding solo.  Pinged FWB, but she was out of town.  Pinged some girl whom I "nexted," but she was being coy.  WHATEVER.  I thought to myself "you are the party.  You are the value" and decided to have a good time.  Went outside and talked to some JAP (jewish american princess) and her friend who had piercings all over her face.  I was only interested in the JAP, but at one point in the interaction, her boyfriend came, and I try not to game girls i/f/o their boyfriends.

Talked to everyone in the bar.  I know some people from previous interactions, so talked to them a bit.  Made some new friends.  Brought the value wherever I went.  At one point I was about to leave, but decided not to.  Went in and sat next to a twoset.  Started talking to them.  One chick was really hot, the other was good looking to.  I was not sitting next to the hot one.  Interaction went well, a friend (male) of the hot one came in and bought everyone shots.  Talked to him a bit (always giving value), then went back to talking to the girl next to me.  Dropped sexual hints in the convo, kino'd early and escalated.  Number closed, then said, "we should kiss."  K-closed that bitch.

Post Scrip:  It may sound like I'm misogynist, but I'm not.  I love women and am a bit of a feminist.  It's a product of (A) how I type and (B) how you, the reader, sees me.

Play on, playas :)

Saturday, March 3, 2012

3/2/12 [LR]

Another lay last night.  I don't feel like getting into the whole night, but there were a BUNCH of sets beforehand.  Last bar of the night, and we're all chilling.  I go to the bar and order a drink.  Naturally I talk to the girl standing there.  Can't say what my opener was.  Probably something like, "is this where you get drinks?"  Something stupid like that usually works wonders.  Anyway, at one point I just put my arm around her and go, "You're my girlfriend now."  She goes, "oh yeah?" incredulously.  I'm like, "yeah."  We start riffing on where we're from.  All night I was asking ppl if they were from SF for some reason.  She's like, "yeah, I'm from SF."  So I tell we're going to have to breakup because I live in San Jose.  Push-pull.  Push-pull.

At some point, she says something I like, so I reward her by telling her we're getting married.  She laches onto this like flies on shit.  Next thing I know I'm introducing her to the guys and she's introducing me to her friends.  I tell her friends that this is " my future wife."  She and her friends are loving it.  We're holding hands and talking.  She's got this glazed-over type look in her eyes.  A couple times I go for the kiss and she pulls back. All I do is reel back, remain non-reactive, then go for the kiss again.  Eventually we are making out.  It took a couple of start-stops as she would first not kiss me at all, then only on the cheek, then some pecking on the lips, then a quick makeout, then full makeout.  This is all over the course of 15 to 20 minutes or so.

At one point, her friend gives me a ring to propose, so I do the whole get down on one knee deal, put the ring on the finger, the whole nine yards.  Real suave-like.  Also, real chodey, lol.  But it fucking works and we're making out.  I think at one point she says she's going home but I can't come.  I tell her I just want to cuddle all night and not have sex, lol.  She sticks to her guns and says I can't come home with her.  At one point, and I have no idea why, she's leaving.  I think her friends were staying at the bar.  So as she's leaving I'm like, "I'll walk you out" or "I'll get you a cab" or some bullshit.  A cab pulls up and she gets in.  I can see that if I get in, she won't say anything, and if I say something I'll fuck it up.  So I get in and shut the door.  She gives the cab driver her address.  In the cab I'm thinking ("ESCALATE!"), so I start rubbing her leg and shit.  She tells me to stop b/c she's ticklish, but I keep at it, reeling back every so often.  I think she tells me again we're not having sex and I'm just like, "sure sure.  We'll just get naked and go to sleep."

OK, we get to the house.  Apparently it's her parent's "vacation house."  It's way up on the top of a giant fucking hill, overlooking most of the city.  She's like, "be quiet when you walk in because my brother's here."  I'm like, "OK."  We go in, she sneaks me to the bedroom and talks to her brother.  I don't want to turn this into a penthouse forum letter, but I think the next part is relevant to guys dealing with LMR.  Remember, I never said we were having sex, and every time she said we weren't, I was just like "yeah, yeah, sure.  We'll just cuddle, it's fine."

So while she's out talking to the bro, I get down to my skivvies and jump into bed, make myself comfortable. She gets in and we makeout a bit and I caress her a bit.  She says, "OK, time to go to bed."  I go, "OK," get on my stomach, and shutdown a minute.  Then I throw my arm over her.  Then I caress her legs some more, rub her pussy over her panties.  I stop and circle around, teasing, teasing, pushing, pulling.  I then go in, put my fingers inside.  Rub her a bit.  She says, "are you gonna lick my pussy?"  After that it was elementary.  Lick the pussy, feel her breasts, she pulls me up, I take off my boxers, tell her to touch my dick, she puts it right in her cunt.

Couple of other things about the night.

  • After making out for a bit or w/e, she's like, "don't you want my number?"  I'm like, "OK, sure," and hand her my phone.  LOL, I just don't give a fuck.  She's puts in her whole fucking name.  I swear, there is no fucking bigger IOI than that right there.
  • I hadn't been blown out in a while, and in my other sets that night, towards the end, I was starting to get blown out a bit.  Felt fucking GREAT.  I just went up to one of the BAS'ers and was like, "I keep getting blown out.  This is awesome!"
  • SF is such a fucking HOUSE of beautiful women.
  • I used the opener "Hey, you are adorable and I just had to come over here and talk to you" a couple of times.  Can't tell if it was better than my normal opener.  At one point I saw a girl across the bar and literally chased her down to tell her that.  She was with a whole bunch of guys and I probably should've iso'd her, but didn't and bounced out of the set when I ran out of what to say.  This is the biggest problem with this opener I think,  I use it, then I have absolutely nothing to say.  Maybe if I try it some more it'll go better.  The second time I used the opener, the girl bored me, so I started talking to her friend.  I think she got jealous because she came over and was like, "this is my girlfriend" and stole her away.
  • Doing the walk of shame at 7 a.m. on a Saturday is somehow less painful.
  • They're always skinnier at the bar.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Let the River Take You

This is an FR from Friday night.  Rolled up to SF with my not-in-the-game cousin to meet my friend, "Natural," who was in town from MA.  Waiting to meet my friend at the bar, drinking with my cuz and opening sets.  First couple of sets went fine, but nothing great.  So I go open this twoset of Russians.  I don't remember the entire interaction, so I am only going to his the high points.

My target was super hot.  Turns out they were both visiting from LA.  Somehow I guessed their ages exactly, and one even took out her ID to show me.  I asked their names and got into deep rapport with the hottie (thought they were both attractive).  We talked about where she worked, what she did for fun, etc.  They say they are going outside to smoke and I say, all excited, "You smoke!?"  I then go out and smoke with them.  They're smoking some capri slims or something so I make fun of them.  My natural friend shows up and introductions are made.  We go inside.

At some point, the girls are talking about the patio out back where you can smoke, so I say, "let's go" and lead my entire group of five people to the back area.  I seat them at a table and excuse myself to go to the rest room.  When I come back the entire group's moved.  "What happened?" I say.  Apparently it was reserved, but the group found a table.  We all sit down.  Two guys who are in-field come into the group, then leave to sarge.  At one point, I am sitting across from the obstacle and my cousin is sitting across from the hottie, so I make some excuse about how my cigarette smoke is going in his face and switch seats with him.  Then, to my hottie I say, "I just wanted to sit next to you," smile.

At some point, my natural friend gets the deets about the next venue from his bro and we have to bounce.  We attempt to bounce the girls, but they beg off, claiming they have to wake up early for a tour of alcatraz.  Not sure how I could have pulled, but it's fine.  I tell hot Russian that we should hang out either before she leaves, or I'll visit her in LA and we exchange numbers.  She gets up to say goodbye to me, and this is where I go for the k close in an alternative world (she was basically asking for it), but don't and hug it out instead.  God, as good as I am, I am still such a chode sometimes.  We bounce, girls stay, and me and my friend tear up some other club.  Think I got another number by the end of the night, but nothing of consequence.  The venues kinda sucked, but I had fun anyway.

Pros:  Bouncing the girls around, some solid deep rapport to hook the girl, got the number close, defeated obstacles.

Cons:  Should be escalating more.

Post-script:  At one point I asked my natural friend how he's so good at hitting on women and he said he just has to relax and that I come on too strong.  So, definitely something to work on in the future.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

2/23/12 Update

So yesterday, I went out to lunch with stalker chick from two posts again.  I'm really amping up the sexual conversation and did a little deep rapport by talking about losing our virginities.  Later, she said, "we need to have a serious talk."  Put it off for 20 minutes.  "I'm not looking for anything but friendship.  I am not in a mental state for anything else."  I think she then justified herself by saying, "maybe if I'm drunk...."  I jumped in and said, "That's fine, but I make out with my friends."  She said, "OK, maybe we'll dry hump."  Lol.  Girl is mine, all I need to do is escalate.

Also talked to the chick from sushi and karaoke yesterday.  Called her on the phone in the morning but logistics were all off.  She said she would call me back, but by 10 at night had not.  Big boo-boo in my book.  I get a couple of texts from her (which end up being from the other night).  I respond with "Is that you calling me back?"  She calls 10 to 20 mins later, apparently drunk and on her way to her car, lol.  Anyway, the girl is cool and I'd like to get her in rotation.  Told her that Thursday's no good and asked if she could do Sat instead (I've got a friend's bday dinner to attend).  She said, "I might be going to New York for the weekend."  Lol, wut.  Apparently this girl IS adventurous.  Excellent.

OK brothers, that's it for now.  I've got to work on my day game some more.  Today I saw this hot dancer come in with a group of friends when I was eating lunch.  She was just my type but I did not open.  When I was leaving she was sitting at a table outside.  My opener should've been, "Excuse, but you are so cute.  I just had to come say hello to you."  Ah well.  You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.  I've also been talking to this cute Mexican chick in my office building with a big rack.  I've got to find a way to close that deal.  Now that I think about it, I talk and flirt with every.  Damn.  Girl.  in my office building.  I love flirting and it's definitely something I've improved these last few months.

So yeah, goals are to improv day game, close the two girls I'm working on and get them into rotation ASAP.  Manana hang with an old friend in the city.  Perhaps I'll get some numbers.

One last thing.  Went out Fat Tuesday.  Opened tons of sets.  At one point I used the perfect opener at a seated two-set:  "Can I take this seat?"  "Sure."  Sit.  Set went well.  I number closed some chick, but don't think I'll call her.  It was end of the night close and I was a little wasted.  Tonight it's early bed for me.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Weekend Report

Had a blast this weekend.  Friday I went out with chick I met on V-Day.  Hit up sushi place and had awesome sushi.  100 bucks later, I told her she was buying drinks at the bar.  Went to the karaoke bar afterwards.  We are sitting down and within 10 minutes we are making out.  At some point I try to put her hand on my dick, but she's not having it.  She said she doesn't put out on a first date.  I ignored and plowed, but it was a nonstarter.  It's fine as I like this chick, and I timebridged for a fuck on our next date.  At the karaoke place, we were owning it and were basically the coolest people there/having the most fun.  At one point, a song came on that is on my list of songs (I have a karaoke list), so my girl tells me to go up.  I do and some cute asian girl comes up too (it was her song).  Fuck it, we sing it together and have a fucking blast.

Saturday, had to meet my fuck buddy, but wanted to sarge too, so I sent up the bat signal.  Meet at the bar.  I'm the first one there and I open a two-set of fatties to get the juices flowing.  One community guy shows up whom I never met, so we shoot the shit until my FWB shows up.  I tell her that we're going to help him hit on girls.  Go to another bar that is having dubstep night.  Grab a couple of PBRs and KILL the dance floor.  I'm talking to every fucking girl in the establishment.  There's this really cute black HB with a hot friend who I am talking to the whole time.  Black girl I can tell is feeling me, but I've got FWB with me so I try to pawn her off on the community guy.  Don't think it went well.  Either way we had a complete BLAST, totally owned the place and talked to every set in there.

Bounce to the next bar.  I'm opening every set I see and FWB gets pissed, so I have to calm her down.  At one point she goes to the bathroom and I am talking to these two seated hottie sisters.  One of them starts talking about her tits, saying how they are nice.  So I tell her they look nice and start grabbing them.  I then tell them we should makeout before my FWB gets back, but no going.  Again, I opened every fucking set in there like it was my business.  No going for number closes because I have a few spinning plates right now.

At some point my FWB and I bounce to my office where we fuck overlooking the city.  I then take her home for more super happy fun times.  She jets at 4am and I am a complete ass to her because I am not a morning person at all.  She texts me later in the day, "Sorry for being mean.  I was just frustrated.  Sex in yr office was hot."

I am growing as a person and a player and have improved so much in the short time I've been in the game.  I have learned that I can be a total asshole and still get away with it.  I've also begun to believe that I am the party and that people are genuinely interested in talking to me / hanging out with me.  I've also started reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People."  The book is pure gold.  One thing I did not do this weekend that I tried to do was get my Beatrice out for dinner on Sunday.  I called her on Saturday and no answer.  I then texted her Sunday, but she's ignoring me.  I'm not letting that one go.

Goals for next week are to bang the asian cutie from V-Day and go out with HB black girl who tracked me down (from last post).  Saturday, my natural friend is in town from the other coast so we'll probably tear some shit up.  It's getting busy, but that's a good thing.  Soon I am going to have to shift focus on some work stuff, so hopefully I can get a couple of plates spinning so I can really focus on what I need to do.

I have so many goals and so much growth I've yet to see in myself.  However, I realize that I've grown a lot since last winter when I was basically crying into my beer every night.  I am a much better socializer now and want to continue to improve by growing my harem, making more friends, extending my social network, and completing my work goals.

Keep playin' playas.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Quick Update with mini FR

Have not updated in a bit.  Last weekend went out with my Beatrice.  It went swimmingly.  Was getting texts from a girl in my harem who wanted to fuck, but I wasn't feeling it.  She gets too clingy.  We'll probably get together this weekend.

Tuesday was Valentine's day.  Went out to two dollar Tuesdays with a co-worker, then headed over to a local bar where some people from the internet were meeting up.  I met up with them, but there was a terrible girl/guy ratio.  One guy looked cool so I said to him, "Hey, you wanna go inside and hit on women?"  He agreed.  We went inside and derped around a bit.  We played some shuffle board.  Then I saw a twoset sitting by us so I went and opened them.  It went great.  My target took to me right away and my new wing got along with his HB.  I got my target's number, then we played some shuffleboard.  It was a fine time and me and the girl are going out Friday.  Before leaving, I texted her: "Who is the coolest guy you met tonight?  (Hint: It's NLA)."  She responded positively, then later that day asked when we were going out.  I guess I make good impressions.

Me and my wing were leaving the bar for the night, when I see some hottie walking alone down the street.  Of course I open her.  She is receptive and wants me to come inside for a drink with her, so I oblige and both me and my wing head in with her.  She heads to the bar to get a drink and we grab a table.  I am feeling wasted at this point and there's only one girl, so I tell my wing to take over and I jet.

Second Story: On the Importance of talking to EVERYBODY:  There's this cute chick in my office building whom I see occasionally.  She has a MAJOR bitch shield up 24/7, but I make it a point to say "hi" to her like I do most people.  Anyway, I'm on the elevator yesterday, riding down.  She gets on the floor below me.  I say, "Hey, how you doin?"  A second or two passes and she says, "Oh, are you talking to me?"  And I'm like, "Yup.  How you doing?"  We talk for a little bit, I compliment her on her sweater as she is exiting the elevator.  I then go about my day and go to lunch.

I get back from lunch, and apparently this chick came looking for me.  I'm on the tenth floor and there are 12 floors in my building.  She went up to the 12th, described me, and did the same until she got to my office.  I was out of the office at the time, but she left a note with her phone number and office number.  She told the guy at the front desk that she works alone.  I called her last night and we had lunch today.  I time-bridged for drinks later in the week.

Monday, January 9, 2012

My Current Harem

Lest ye think I am doing this blog for show, I just wanted to go through my current harem.

Number 1:  Blonde, older, divorcee.  Insatiable sexual appetite.  Three times a night is not enough for her.  Her insatiableness annoyed me to the point where I cut off contact, but she contacted me again after Christmas and we are at it again.  We'll see how long it lasts.  She's generally fun, though, because everytime I introduce something new (sex in a car, spooning, reverse cow-girl), it's a completely new experience to her.  She is totally GGG, which makes me overlook her other annoyances.

Number 2:  College girl.  Lives with parents.  Has a good social circle of friends whom I'd like to bang.  Not all that interested in her sexually, but she is tenacious and it is hard to turn down a sure thing.  She can never host, for obvious reasons, which is problematic because I currently live on a futon.  Because I am the more attractive one, I have all the power.  Gets boring, but hey, it's a sure thing.

Number 3:  New Girl, older, hispanic.  Loves to dance and is lonely.  Big tits.  Gets wet at the thought of me.  Will probably keep her around a little bit.

For the most part, the ladies are the ones who initiate.  I'd like to expand my base a bit as none of these gals are tens.  Although I have a harem, I am currently not satisfied.  If I could, I'd like to downgrade (upgrade?) to one gal I really like who is super-hot, kinky and into me.  For now though, I'll keep the spinning plates.

For the most part I've been reeling back my pick-up activities to focus on other life goals.  I still go out, but not as frequently.  I've got a couple of prospects on the horizon whom I'd like to turn into regular hookups or perhaps more.  Like I said, my goal is to have one quality woman, rather than massive quantities.  However, quantity may lead into quality, so I'll start from a position of strength for now.  Next week I am to have dinner with my Beatrice.  We'll see how that goes.

Friday, January 6, 2012

My Bout With Oneitis

This past week was Christmas and I was home for Christmas.  Currently I live 3,000 miles away and do not see my family enough.

Over a year ago, my girlfriend of six years broke up with me.  I am not getting into all the details now, but suffice to say I did not appreciate what I had and was devastated by the loss.  Eventually, after my second drunken attempt to elicit sex from her via text, she sat me down and told me never to contact her again.  That was last January and I hadn't since then.

Because we were together six years, she was a big part of my life.  We did everything together.  When I moved out West, she moved with me.  When my nieces and nephews were growing up, she was there with me, watching them grow.  She became part of the family.  When I was home, everything there reminded me of her.  I was sad to not be sharing the experience with her.  My nephew (8 years old) asked why she broke up with me.  Basically, I was a heartbroken AFC mess for the whole Christmas weekend.  My family is all coupled up, and here I am, some newbie to the PU game, going home for Christmas, missing my ex.  It was awful.

Later, I found myself in NYC.  This is the city where my ex and I met.  I was meeting my friend for drinks right next door to a place I had been with the ex and her uncle.  I took a picture and thought about sending it to her.  I did not.  I talked to my friend about this.  He asked if I would still get back together with her.  I said, "I still love her and always will."  He said to call her tomorrow (31st) "before you get drunk."  I agreed, as that was my plan all along.  I meant to call her on Christmas but either forgot, thought it would be too cliche, thought better of it, or pussied out.

On the day of December 31st, I called my ex girlfriend.  I was in Queens, on a street we walked down together many a time before.  It was 12:30 in the afternoon.  She did not pick up.  I left a message.  "Hey.  It's me.  Just walking down [street], thinking of you.  Hope you had a great Christmas and New Year.  Bye." She did not call me back.

Flying home, I keep thinking about calling her.  I develop the plan at some point to send a text.  The original idea for a text was, "If you're around, I'd like to call you tonight.  What time are you available?"  After thinking about it and waiting for way too long, the text I eventually send is, "It's NLA.  I'd like to call you tonight.  You around?"  She never responded.

It's been a year and I've still got oneitis.  I've gotten laid since the breakup.  I've flirted with countless girls.  I've gotten dozens of numbers.  My social-life has improved eightfold.  And yet, I still think "what if...."

I'm hoping that in the coming year I can get over her, but I dunno if I can.  She was such a big part of my life.  We grew up together.  Now she just ignores me.  This is how I got into the game.  We all have holes to fill.  This is my backstory.